Let Me Save You
by AcousticLovely
Summary: When something terrible happens to Maya, her friends are all ready to help her through it. Lucas learns just how much Maya trusts him, and Josh faces some new challenges in the Long Game. (Trigger Warning). Joshaya, Lucaya friendship. Romance, Hurt/Comfort. Rated T, but that may change.
1. Chapter 1: The Party That Started It All

It was supposed to be the party of the year.

Missy Bradford's Annual Kickoff Party was _the_ back-to-school event to attend. Every incoming sophomore was invited, and even a few of the upperclassmen said they were going. It was going to be a total rager, with no adults, and tons of alcohol. It was August 19th, two weeks before the school year was officially set to begin, and Riley Matthews and Maya Hunter (formerly Hart) had already received their invites via text message.

"Riles, I really don't wanna go," Maya whined, flopping down on her brunette friend's bed.

Maya wasn't really one for parties, especially those thrown by Missy Bradford. There were too many people, the booze wasn't usually that great, and the music scene sucked. There would be too many rowdy JV football players there trying to grab her ass and get her to dance with them, and she wasn't looking forward to it. Maya had been to a few parties over the summer, some of them even college frat parties, and she tired of them very quickly. They were too much of the same thing, and while she drank to enjoy herself, she hated the inevitable hangover.

But it the first time Riley had been invited to a _real_ party. And Maya wasn't about to let her go without her. There were few things you could keep Riley from doing once she set her mind to something, and Maya desperately hoped she could talk her best friend out of attending a trashy house party. The Riley Committee wasn't as active as it used to be, being that Riley was now older and knew a lot more about the real world than previously, but Maya wasn't sure the brunette girl could handle such a scene. What would she do if a sleazy guy tried to dance with or _worse_ , take her upstairs?

"But Maya, this is my first chance to see what a real party is like! I think I am ready!" Riley said excitedly, digging through her closet for something to wear.

The party began at eight. Maya had shown up at Riley's in a pair of ripped jeans and a band tee with some obscene wording on it. It was what she was comfortable in and she doubted the party was going to be anything more than casual. Riley had immediately jumped to do her hair and makeup and then spent the remaining thirty minutes going through all of her clothes deciding what "party" appropriate was.

So far, nothing.

"Ooh! What about this one?" she said, pulling out a red sequined top, modest as Riley usually was, and it matched perfectly with her newly acquired red lipstick.

The corners of Maya's mouth turned up. It was always so endearing to see Riley so excited about something. "I like that one, honey. Now pair it with those black high-waisted jeans we got at the mall last week."

It took some convincing to get Cory and Topanga to allow Riley to go to a party so late at night, but with the assurance that there would be no drinking and that Maya would be at her side the entire night, they reluctantly agreed. Katy had no problem letting Maya out, though Shawn set down some ground rules before she was allowed to leave the house. No drinking, no kissing boys, and stay with Riley. The girls were safe as long as they were together.

"Have fun, you two!" Topanga called out after them as they left the complex.

Thankfully, Missy's place wasn't too far from where Riley lived. Maya wasn't too keen on hiking anywhere with her heeled combat boots on. The music could be heard from down the block, but it was New York City, so no one could really complain about it being loud. As soon as they walked through the door, Maya was hit with the smell of sweat, beer, weed, and sex. It was a classic high school party.

There was beer pong set up in the dining room, a bunch of football players gathered around it. A group of stoners were gathered on the back patio, passing around a bong and some other paraphernalia. There was a DJ set up in the living room, and a ton of bottles in the kitchen. Missy had not held back with this particular gathering.

"Ohmigosh! Riley, Maya!" A tipsy Sarah made her way over to the pair, draping her arms around their shoulders. "Darby and I have been _waiting for-evah!_ " she announced, pointing over to a sober Darby who was holding hands with Yogi on the couch.

Riley's eyes were wide with surprise as she took in her drunken classmate. Her glasses were crooked and her breath smelled like cheap beer. She looked to Maya, who only offered a look of "I told you so".

"Is this what all parties are like, Maya?" she whispered to her best friend once Sarah disappeared into the kitchen.

"Pretty much, at least the ones I've been to. It's not so bad when you're with friends though," Maya answered, a weary smile on her face as Sarah came back with two red solo cups in hand. Maya took them both, dumped the contents of one into the other, and handed the empty one to Riley.

Riley sighed. "I wish the others were able to come. Too bad Lucas and Zay are in Texas and Farkle and Smackle had that TED talk to attend tonight."

"Yeah, well hopefully they'll make it to the next party," Maya smiled, taking Riley's hand and leading them into the kitchen.

She pulled a Mike's Hard Lemonade out of the cooler and handed it to Riley, who looked at it like it was a bomb. "Maya, this is alcohol. My parents said no drinking.'

Maya just rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle opener from the counter, popping the top of the drink off. "It's fine, it's one drink. This one doesn't even taste like alcohol. And if you're slow and just carry that around with you, no one will bother you about drinking and you won't get drunk," she explained, trying to coax her into taking a sip.

Hesitantly, she did. Her eyes widened, "It tastes like lemonade!" she sipped some more, and then eyed the red cup Maya was holding. "Hey, what did Sarah give you?"

Maya tentatively sniffed the rim of the cup. Vodka, definitely vodka mixed with what was some kind of dark juice. Cranberry or grape, she couldn't tell. "Something a little stronger," she replied, deciding it was probably going to be her only drink of the night.

The two walked around the party, chatting with some people they knew and making some new friends. Kenny Jones, a nice boy from Riley's debate class, was there and asked Riley to dance. She was reluctant, wanting to but not really wanting to leave Maya out by herself.

"Go on, you need some boy-action after your split with Lucas back in May," Maya said, trying to convince her friend to go.

Riley and Lucas had a rather amicable break-up at the end of their freshman year, after a solid five months of dating. They never really said why they broke up, all of their friends believing it was just a lack of chemistry between the two, which wasn't entirely untrue. What had really happened though, was that they wanted to move at slightly different speeds. Lucas was older, and he was experiencing different feelings, more hormone-driven feelings. And while Lucas was interested in pursuing a more physical relationship with Riley, she wasn't quite ready. Any time Lucas moved to kiss her for more than three seconds she freaked out and pushed him away. Lucas respected this, but Riley decided it would be best for both of them if they took some time apart.

So there she was, a single Pringle once again, as Maya had once said.

"Are you sure you'll be okay, Peaches? We're supposed to stick together," Riley argued, torn between dancing with a really cute boy and staying with her best friend. The answer seemed clear but Maya insisted Riley have her time with Kenny.

"I'll be fine, Riles. I've been to these things before, remember? No harm done," she winked, squeezing her best friend's hand before turning on her heel and leaving the two to their business. She'd check up on them again in half an hour.

Decidedly bored, Maya headed to the back patio where the stoners were gathered. It was really the only place she wouldn't want to take Riley. She didn't want Riley involved with any sort of drugs. There was a kid from her art class that she knew out here, David. He was nice enough, kind of quiet with a secret bad-boy edge. She kind of liked it.

"Whatcha doing out here, _Hunter_?" he asked, putting emphasis on her last name. Being one of her good friends, he knew about the change to her last name. He had a small joint shoved between his index and middle finger.

"Just getting some fresh air. You mind?" she motioned to the joint, which he offered up without hesitation. She took a long drag.

She didn't even notice the figure coming up to stand behind her. "And who do we have here, Davey?" a low voice asked from above her head.

She turned to look at him, taken aback by his handsomeness at first. He looked older, almost around Josh's age, and likely in college. His light brown hair was slicked back and the smell of his cologne stuck to his Ralph Lauren polo. A total frat boy, Maya almost snorted. He was attractive enough, but definitely not her type.

"I'm Maya," she sneered, looking him up and down to show she wasn't intimidated.

A sickening look passed over his features before he looked to her side at David. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Davey."

David scoffed. "She's not my girlfriend, just a friend in my art class."

The guy quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, in that case…" he turned back to Maya, a charming smile settling over his face. "My name's Charles. Charles Hollis." He took her hand and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the back of it softly.

Okay, he came off as a little sleazy, but he was cute and Maya was in need of some sort of company for the night, even if it was David and his friend Charles. "I'm Maya Hunter. You look a little old to be here," she commented.

His smirk only grew. "You don't look like the type that cares."

Maya smirked back. Charles didn't seem so bad.

Riley was having a grand ole time with Kenny Jones from debate. He was cute, funny, and attended a youth group every Friday night. He invited her to go with him to his next meeting, saying friends were always welcome. She was often paired with Kenny for debates, and he was really good at it, and like her, he always liked to see the brighter side of the world. It was refreshing, different from being the only person in her group who was an optimist.

She was so caught up in talking to Kenny and hanging out with him, that when she unlocked her phone to let Kenny put his contact information is, she noticed she'd spent over two hours with him and had not seen one sign of Maya. It was already nearing eleven o'clock and she and Maya were expected home in a half hour.

"Uh oh," she whispered, hurriedly looking around the house for any sign of her blonde best friend.

"Something wrong?" Kenny asked, noticing her worried expression.

Riley scanned the room they were in, and with no sign of Maya, began to move her search to the next room, the kitchen. "I can't find Maya. She told me she would check on me, but that was over two hours ago!" she rambled, bumping into random strangers in search for her friend.

"Shoot, I didn't know it had gotten so late. I should be getting home soon," Kenny replied, seemingly unconcerned about the whole Maya situation.

Riley sighed, exasperated. "Look, Kenny, I had a really great time with you tonight but if Maya and I aren't home in a half-hour, my parents will kill me," she told him.

"It's cool, I hope you find her. I gotta head out now though, so I hope to see you later?"

Riley nodded, distracted. "Yeah, uh, I'll text you or something," she accepted his kiss on her cheek before returning to her search, not even taking note of the fact that she had never actually gotten his number.

Darby and Sarah hadn't seen her since the beginning of the party, and Riley wasn't all too aware of who Maya hung out with outside of their group. It was mostly people from her electives, like art and choir. But she didn't know any of those people! Missy was wasted and Riley knew she wouldn't get an answer from her. She searched every room of the downstairs frantically, looking for anyone familiar who knew where Maya would be.

By the time she had checked every room, she was starting to get worried. It wasn't like Maya to not answer her phone or disappear on her, so where in the world would she be?

Then, Riley spotted a potential answer. David Carver was sitting on one of the counters in the kitchen, drinking something from a red cup like the one Maya had. Riley knew David because he sometimes sat with them at lunch because he normal crew didn't share the same lunch period as him. He was quiet, but nice. He never really had much to say and didn't talk unless spoken to, but he laughed at her jokes and sometimes got up to get Maya some pudding just because she asked. She suspected the boy had a crush on her best friend.

"David!" she ran up to him, pushing people aside as she waded through the mass.

He looked a little drunk, and a lot stoned, but definitely sober enough to tell her if he'd seen Maya. "Hey, Riley. What's up?"

"I can't find Maya anywhere, was she with you at any point? Please tell me you know where she is," she pleaded desperately.

David scowled, a facial expression Riley had yet to see on the boy. "She went off with my cousin, Charles. He's a dick, but Maya seemed to like him. We were all talking on the patio when he led her off,"

Warning bells went off in Riley's head. She didn't like to think of the implications of that statement. She knew for a fact that Maya was just as much of a virgin as she was, and there was no way she was the type to hook up with some random guy at a party.

"Probably went upstairs…" David slurred, expression sour, something behind Riley caught his eye and he glared in that general direction. "Oh, look, there's Charles now. That's my cousin."

Riley turned to see a rather attractive guy in an obnoxious green polo strutting down the stairs with two guys following behind him. He looked really smug, and Riley got an uneasy feeling in her stomach as the group of guys high-fived each other. They were older looking, around her uncle's age. Something about this whole situation just didn't seem right.

Without much thought, she stormed right up to Charles. "Where is Maya?" she demanded, eyes fierce.

Charles looked at her closely, trying to remember if he knew who she was talking about. "Blonde hair, blue eyes, kinda short?" she continued, cheeks flushing in anger.

Charles' green eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh! That's right," he said, mouth twisting up into a sickening grin, "The slut's upstairs."

Riley dashed up the stairs, afraid of what she might find. She checked every bedroom, most of which were locked and she was met with some loud expletives when she asked if Maya was in there. There was only one more room to check, the bathroom. Riley knocked tentatively on the bathroom door, hoping that Maya was in there and that she was okay.

"Peaches? Are you in there?" she asked, loud enough for whoever was on the other side to hear. She was only met with what sounded like whimpers and broken sobs.

Upon turning the doorknob, she discovered it was unlocked.

And she was met with the worst.

Maya was curled up in a ball inside the bathtub, pantless and sobbing. Mascara streaked down her cheek and her eyes were wide with fear as she took in the sight of her horrified best friend standing in the doorway. Her jeans were in a heap in the corner, and her panties a torn mess beside them. Maya was sporting bruises along her upper arms and wrists, and Riley was already sure she would find bruises dotting along her best friend's thighs.

It was her worst nightmare come true. Someone had hurt Maya.

"MAYA!" she screamed, slamming the door shut and locking it behind her. That vile, horrible, disgusting man!

She dropped to her knees inside of the tub next to Maya, and held her as the blonde sobbed into her chest. What could she do? What had happened?

"Oh my god, peaches, I'm so sorry! I should have never left you, oh my god!"

Horrified, and not having a clue of what to do, Riley pulled out her phone and dialed the number of the first person she could think of. Maya wasn't speaking, barely coherent as her sobs overtook her. She babbled what might have been words but Riley couldn't understand. There was so much. She was feeling so much, so much hurt, regret, and most of all, anger.

That son of a bitch would _**not**_ get away with this.

The phone rang three times before it picked up, the familiar voice on the other line slightly comforting to Riley before the panic set in again.

"Uncle Shawn! I need you, I need you to get over here NOW!" she gasped into the phone, breathing heavy. "Maya's been… God, Uncle Shawn they—"she choked, not wanting to say the word out loud. It was as if her body was refusing to let her believe what had happened.

"Riley, Riley, you need to calm down. I'm on my way. What happened to Maya?" Shawn spoke firmly on the other end. She could hear his loud footsteps through the speaker. He was coming.

Tears streamed down Riley's face as she kept Maya close. She had to tell him. He needed to know. "H-He **raped** her," she whimpered.

There was a loud expletive on the other line, and then muffled voices. Riley could guess that Uncle Shawn wasn't alone when she called him. Katy and her parents were probably with him too. In that moment, she was glad her parents were around. More specifically, her mom. That bastard would be sitting his ass in jail if her mother had anything to say about it.

"Riley," she could hear Shawn's broken voice more clearly, "We're on our way. The Bradford's right?"

She whispered an affirmative into the phone, noting that it's been a while since Maya made a sound. After checking to see if she was still breathing, and she was, Riley concluded the blonde must be asleep.

"And Riley?" Shawn said, getting her attention once more. She could hear the wind in the background, and it sounded like he was running. "You tell me exactly which son of a bitch did this."

Riley gulped. "Bright green polo, white shoes, tall. You can't miss him," she said, not feeling an ounce of remorse for what was coming Charles's way.

Maya whimpered in her sleep, and Riley pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her best friend and praying to God that she would somehow make it through this. Maya didn't deserve this, and in the worst way possible, Riley had let her best friend down. Her best friend who had always been there to protect her, and Riley couldn't protect her when she was needed most.

"Shhh, peaches, Shawn's on his way…" she tried to comfort the sleeping blonde. No doubt she was having an awful dream.

That was the day that Riley Matthews felt the world crumble away, and her eyes dulled just the slightest bit as she sat there in Missy Bradford's bathtub, trying to keep Maya from falling apart.


	2. Chapter 2: Texas Lucas

Riley watched the steady rise and fall of Maya's chest as she sat up in bed. It was ten o'clock in the morning Sunday, and Maya had not woken up since she fell asleep in Riley's lap the night before. Riley, on the other hand, had not slept.

When Shawn arrived at the scene with Katy, Topanga, and Cory in tow, Riley was immediately notified by the commotion downstairs, followed by police sirens. She remembered how Maya had said she hoped the party didn't get raided by the cops, and ironically thought that she was glad the police were here now. Topanga and Katy both pounded on the bathroom door, demanding to be let in. Riley had to shove Maya off and prop her against the edge of the tub so she could stand to unlock the door.

Katy immediately left the scene, upon seeing her daughter bruised and beaten and half-naked. Topanga, let out a small sob at the sight, and proceeded to grab a towel from a nearby cabinet to wrap her in. When Maya was sufficiently covered, Topanga called her husband in to help carry her down the stairs and into Shawn's truck.

On the way down the stairs, Riley could see that a lot of the party had been cleared out, and that Charles Hollis was sporting a swollen eye and busted lip, sitting on the couch with his hands behind his back and a police officer standing in front of him.

"Don't worry, Riley," Topanga said to her daughter, noticing the distress in her eyes, "He will pay, I am going to make sure of it."

They had to get Maya to the hospital before anything else, checking to see if she had any serious injuries and to see if she was under the influence of any alcohol or drugs. Maya didn't wake through any of the tests or procedures. Unsurprisingly, the test came back positive for alcohol, but not enough that she would be really drunk. The nurse explained that her BAC put her at buzzed, at most. What was surprising was the amount of Rohypnol found in her system, or as Shawn explained, roofies. Maya had been drugged.

"It is a significant amount, and given the circumstances, we're not expecting her to wake up anytime soon. It is a powerful sedative," the nurse explained calmly, though she did express a certain amount of sympathy, saying she had a daughter of her own.

Maya was released at 3am. She was still asleep, but the doctors said she would be fine, she was in no danger of drug overdose and she sustained no significant injuries. She would sleep the effects of the drugs off and in a few weeks they would be completely out of her system. They prescribed some Tylenol for the pain she was sure to be in when she woke up, but said that given time, she would be okay. The doctors also recommended that she begin seeing a therapist or psychiatrist, as the event would have left her with some trauma.

Fast forward to 10am, with everyone crowded in the living room, wanting to give Riley and Maya some space after the night they had. Katy clung to Shawn, who looked as if he had aged ten years in one night. He desperately wanted to kill that kid, and he might have if Cory and the police officers hadn't been there to stop him. He could have been arrested for assault after punching the kid twice, but after the officers learned of the offense and his given age, he was let off the hook with a warning. Cory busied himself with making dinner and trying to comfort Auggie, who was scared and confused as to why the grown-ups were acting so weird and Riley and Maya were locked in her room.

Topanga was on the phone with one fellow lawyer after another, even going as far as to call the state attorney for backup. She was going to make sure that son of a bitch rotted in hell. She had many connections and now was as good of a time as ever to use them. The fact that it was sexual assault on a minor made this case cake. He was going to jail, but she wanted to be extra sure he got the maximum sentence, and was sent to the most miserable prison in the state.

"I can't believe something like this could happen to my little girl—" Katy sobbed into Shawn's chest. He rubbed soothing motions into her back, but he couldn't think of anything he could say that would comfort her.

Maya was the strongest girl he knew. Take-no-bullshit-from-anyone Maya. And someone had managed to hurt her, potentially even break her. Shawn didn't know how Maya would handle it, or how much therapy she was going to need before things got better for her. He was thankful that she had one of the strongest support systems he had ever seen, between himself, Katy, Topanga, Cory, and all of her friends. She would be able to make it through this.

She had to.

Dinner time rolled around before anyone realized. Riley had still yet to be seen in the living room. She was thankful to her mom for bringing her snacks and water and offering her comfort, but Riley didn't want any of that. She wanted her best friend to wake up so she could apologize for not being there and make it up to her in any way that she possibly could. She just wanted Maya to be okay.

A knock on the bay window surprised her, and Riley whorled around to see Farkle crouched outside her window, looking grim. Slowly, she sat up and made her way to the window. She opened it and Farkle climbed inside, making a cursory glance at Maya's sleeping form on the bed before settling on her.

"Riley, are you okay?" he asked tentatively. He watched helplessly as Riley's expression crumpled and she collapsed into his thin chest.

"I failed her, Farkle."

"Shhh, no you didn't. You couldn't have known, Riley," he said, quick to negate her guilty feelings. He held her tightly in his arms as she sobbed.

Farkle couldn't bring himself to look at Maya immediately. A small part of him hoped this was all a bad dream. In all of his years of knowing her, he'd never seen Maya look so physically weak, and once she woke up, well, there was no telling what she would be like. He feared she would be broken, and empty. He didn't want this terrible, awful, thing to be the thing that broke her for good. Maya took a lot of shit emotionally dealing with her dad and her abandonment, she didn't need this as well.

"Lucas and Zay are on their way. It might not be until tomorrow though, I only got a hold of them a half hour ago," he told Riley as she began to calm down.

To say he had been surprised when Topanga texted him saying that he was needed immediately at the Matthew's residence was an understatement. Riley's parents had his number in case of emergency, or whenever they needed to get a hold of the girls and couldn't for one reason or another. He had gotten a bad feeling upon reading the text, and called Topanga on the drive over to see what was going on. When she had told him what happened, he hadn't been able to contain his sobs in the car. He needed several minutes to compose himself before calling Lucas, who definitely needed to be here with Riley and Maya. Lucas spoke in very short sentences after Farkle finished telling the story, asking where the guy was and if there was anyone else involved before informing Farkle that he would be home with Zay in a matter of hours.

"I don't know what I'll say to her when she wakes up," Riley admitted, not even acknowledging that Lucas was going to be there.

"Tell her that you love her, and that you will be there for her no matter what," Farkle told her calmly. He needed to be strong for the two of them, and the only thing he could do at the moment was tell Riley that Maya would love her no matter what she did.

"Maya loves you, and believe me when I say she doesn't blame you for this," he said, "It's not your fault, Riley."

This sent Riley into another round of tears. She wailed loudly into Farkle's shirt as he comforted her the best he could. They didn't even notice that a previously sleeping blonde had already opened her eyes. She was facing away from them, so they wouldn't see that she was awake, but she listened to Riley's admission and felt her heart break just a little more.

Maya was in pain. Her arms, legs, chest, and of course the place between her legs ached terribly. She found herself whimpering lightly as she tried to turn around in the bed. She found that she was wearing one of Auggie's T-shirts paired with a pair of Riley's pajama pants. She was laying in Riley's bed, meaning that last night wasn't some sort of delusion. Riley had really come to get her, to rescue her. She had thought she was dreaming, that she was going to be left alone in that bathtub until Missy Bradford woke up the next morning to puke into the toilet, but Riley got her. Of course, Riley got her.

"Riley," she whispered, voice hoarse. She didn't want to think about why she'd lost her voice, and instead focused on her best friend as she finally managed to turn and look at her.

Riley was seated at the bay window, Farkle wrapped protectively around her, as they both looked on in shock at the now awake blonde. It took Riley a moment to register that Maya was, in fact, awake, but once she did she could no longer hold herself back. She launched herself towards the bed like her life depended on it.

"Peaches! Oh my gosh, Maya, I'm so sorry!" she cried, grabbing Maya's hands (one of the only parts of her that weren't bruised).

"It's okay, honey. You're okay," Maya whispered back, gripping Riley's hands back weakly.

Riley took a while to calm down, and unable to help herself, she wrapped Maya in her arms once more, making the blonde wince. Maya didn't mind though, she felt safe in Riley's embrace. Farkle kept his distance, staying at the bay window, not wanting to intrude or make Maya uncomfortable in any way. It took a few moments before Maya looked up to him, eyes red rimmed from crying, and motioned for him to join them. Hesitantly, he made his way over.

"How are you doing?" He asked lamely, sitting on the foot of the bed.

It was hard to see her like this. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and the same Maya smirk on her face but it wasn't Maya. There was so much pain in her eyes, and the curve of her lips was anything but genuine. She was obviously trying hard to pretend for them, to make them believe she was okay. He wanted to believe it was for Riley's sake, that she didn't want Riley to think she was at fault for anything, and that she was alright. But Farkle knew. She was far from alright.

"I'll be okay, Farkle. I survived," she said, voice hollow.

Farkle and Riley didn't say anything more after that. The room was quiet for a long time before anyone said anything. Farkle moved from the foot of the bed over to the floor beside Maya. He reached up and held her hand gently, running his thumb across her fingers. Riley cuddled up beside her on the bed, finally asleep after a long night of worrying. Maya was wide awake, looking at Farkle but not speaking to him. He didn't know if it was because she didn't want to talk, or because she actually couldn't. He didn't miss the way her voice shook when she spoke last.

"What am I going to do, Farkle?" she said, finally.

When he looked up, her eyes were empty and sad, genuinely lost. He didn't know how to answer her, and there was nothing he could say that would make her feel better.

"We will always love you, Maya. Nothing changes. I'm sorry this happened to you, and it takes everything in me not to blame myself in part for what happened. We will get through this, you have all of us," he said lowly, bringing her hand up to brush against his lips.

Maya blinked. "It's my fault."

"It's not," Farkle insisted, "None of this is your fault. I don't know all of the details, but you did not bring this upon yourself and you do not deserve this!"

Maya was silent again for a long time after. It was now late in the evening, and even though Topanga had checked in on them once, relief showing across her face when she saw that Maya was awake, no one had come in to bother them. Maya invited Farkle onto the bed, and he now rested on his back on her left side while Riley cuddled up to her right. In spite of all the sleep she had gotten, Maya was still exhausted. Everything hurt and the aspirin Topanga had given her didn't do much to help. Farkle dozed next to her, ready to be of assistance if needed.

Part of Maya wanted to forget that the whole thing ever happened, but she knew she couldn't. She was so scared, and as slowly as the memories were coming, they were there. At first she could only remember pieces. Talking to Charles and David, Charles saying he wanted to play beer pong with her as a partner, Charles offering her a beer. The rest was a little fuzzy, and before she knew it she was locked in the bathroom with him, his hands all over her and his breath hot and rancid in her ear.

She shivered as the memories came, and did her best to repress them. Everyone was expecting her to be strong. She was Maya Hunter, resident badass. Nothing could faze her. She knew it must have shaken Riley to see her so broken last night, and she felt bad for her best friend, whose perfect world had been shattered in the blink of an eye. It was her job to keep Riley happy and pure, like she was. And here she had to go and ruin it in one fell sweep.

Maya clasped Farkle's hand tightly as she choked on a sob. Everything was her fault. She was so stupid to go off with that asshole, to believe he actually had good intentions. Everything in her mind screamed at her not to take the beer from him, knowing that open drinks from strangers were dangerous. But she did it anyways, naïve as she was. Damn her.

Not being able to contain herself, Maya rolled over and cried into Farkle's chest, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that she would be okay. She hoped so, she needed to be, for Riley's sake. Her sobs were muffled, so as to not wake the sleeping brunette next to her, and Farkle whispered promises he couldn't keep into her ear. There was nothing anyone could do anymore. What's done has been done.

Maya fell asleep with that thought in her head.

The next morning, Riley was awoken abruptly by sharp knocks on both the bay window and her bedroom door. Turning over, she saw Maya cuddled up to Farkle's chest, his arm wrapped protectively around her. An instinct told her Smackle wouldn't be happy if she knew, but Riley knew better. Maya needed them, now more than ever. And if Farkle is what she needed to feel safe last night, so be it. Maya also had not let go of Riley's left hand since she fell asleep, it still clasped within her own. She smiled, the worry of Maya blaming her dissipated.

Her thoughts were interrupted by another loud knock on the bay window. She remembered that Farkle called Lucas last night, and that he might be here today.

After untangling herself from Maya, she walked to the bay window and pulled it up, allowing Lucas to crawl in without a word. His face was set in stone, jaw clenched and nostrils flared. She knew that look, and she was definitely not looking at the friendly New York Lucas she'd come to know and love. No, she was definitely looking at Texas Lucas.

Lucas quietly crossed the room and opened Riley's bedroom door, allowing Zay to walk in as well. Never in her life had Riley seen Zay look so serious about anything, not even when she took a bite out of his grandma's cookie. He didn't look like anything could make him smile again. Riley could understand, she felt the same way at the moment.

"Maya," Lucas whispered, taking a look at the blonde sleeping on the bed before him. He looked like he was in pain, in anguish.

He could see the bruises on her, they were more visible now. Dark, angry, purple-blue stained along her arms, and lighter and smaller ones were on her neck. She had a bruise on her cheek and a scratch on her forehead. He hoped to God that she fought back, that she did whatever she could to that bastard before he laid his hands on her. Lucas wanted to cry at the sight, and he brought a hand up to his mouth to hold down a sob as his eyes welled with tears.

Texas Lucas was gone for the moment, but he'd be back with vengeance. All he wanted to do right now was be there for her, and help her through whatever she was going to go through in the coming days or weeks. They weren't about to lose the strong girl they all loved. He would make sure of it.

Lucas went to sit on the right side of the bed, where Riley previously was. Unlike Farkle, he wasn't weary of Maya being afraid of him. She was Maya, and she was his friend.

"Maya?" he spoke softly, voice wavering slightly. He picked up her free hand from the bed and held it within his own. She didn't wake up, and he didn't know if he was disappointed or relieved.

"What happened?" The question was directed at Riley, even though he wasn't looking at her.

Riley gulped. This was the resurrection of Texas Lucas. "Well, before I say anything, just know that Charles Hollis is in police custody right now."

"Who the _fuck_ is Charles Hollis?" he snarled, a testament to how much anger was simmering beneath the calm surface. Lucas rarely cursed.

"He's the guy. He's probably in college or something, I don't know. He looked a lot older. Anyways, from what David told me, he's his cousin. They were all hanging out on the back porch when Charlie led her away."

Lucas knew who David was, but the kid left a bad taste in his mouth. He and Maya never dated, but the way David carried himself around her made him look possessive, and Maya was not an object to be owned. And this Charles guy was David's cousin. Huh.

"More."

"Okay, so Maya and I got separated when Kenny Jones asked me to dance, but I didn't know how much time had passed until I looked at my phone. And I realized I hadn't seen her in a long time and I panicked and searched the whole house, and I found David who told me she might be upstairs with Charles. But I know it's unlike Maya to do something like that, so I got worried. I found her in the upstairs bathroom, in the tub. She was… God, Lucas… I've never seen Maya look so scared," Riley was shaking by the end of the story, and Zay wrapped an arm around her shoulders for comfort.

It didn't satisfy Lucas. He wanted to know exactly what that rat bastard did to Maya, so when he finally got out on bail, he would get **exactly** what was coming to him. He would just have to wait for Maya to wake up in order to know, no matter how much he didn't want to hear it.

"He will pay. I want to kill him," Lucas said through gritted teeth, keeping Maya's hand in a soft grip but squeezing the edge of the mattress tightly with his other hand.

Riley sniffled. "I know, Lucas, I do too. But he's in jail and there's nothing we can do,"

Lucas looked up, tears falling from angry, red-rimmed eyes. "It's only a matter of time, Riley."


	3. Chapter 3: Needing Help

**A/N: Okay, before I get any shit for it, these chapters come up completely unedited. It's partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I'm too excited to get these chapters up for you guys. I'm really excited about this fic and what I have planned for it. Don't worry you Joshaya shippers, they'll get their moments. All in due time. Anyways, don't mind the typos and grammatical errors that are scattered about, I simply just do not have the time or patience to edit them out at the moment. That is all.**

Maya blinked, unsure of where she was for a second. Her vision was blurry but she could see Lucas staring down at her, tears streaked down his face and jaw clenched tightly.

She remembered she was in Riley's bed, now two days after Missy Bradford's party. She still felt like shit, but there was only so much you can do about that. What did that fucker give her? Her head hurt and so did everything else. She sat up, body feeling a little unused to the sensation after having been in bed for over twenty four hours. Her joints creaked and moaned at the effort. Her mouth was the Sahara Desert.

"Here," a voice said from her left. Farkle was sitting there holding a glass of water. Smart Farkle, reliable Farkle.

She took the water and drank the whole glass. When she set the glass down, she could feel everyone's eyes on her, watching her every move like a hawk. Belatedly, she realized her left hand was in Lucas's tight grasp, though she made no effort to remove it. She was safe here with all of her friends, and she was happy knowing they were all there for her.

"Guys, I'm okay," she whispered, trying not to put too much strain on her recovering vocal chords.

"Bullshit."

Maya looked towards Lucas in surprise. His eyes were hard and suspiciously red. "Don't pretend for us, Maya. You can't pretend that this is okay!" he told her.

Maya stayed quiet. She didn't want to admit just how much this had affected her, and how scared she truly was. Not only that, but now everyone was scared for her. The guilt weighed heavily on her, extrapolated by the shameful and dirty feelings she still felt.

"Riley, can I take a shower?" she asked, turning away from Lucas and looking towards her best friend.

Riley looked at her sympathetically. "Of course, peaches."

Maya spent at least a half hour under the hot, steaming water. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to keep her sobs quiet. They were all so good to her, so willing to pretend they wouldn't see her any differently, or so Farkle had said. She believed them, to some extent. They wouldn't treat her any differently, but inside they would know that she was _dirty_ and _used_ like some old dishrag hidden beneath the kitchen sink. How can she face them? How can she face any guy who might have any sort of interest in her without feeling that fear, that panic she had felt when Charles Hollis dragged her into Missy Bradford's upstairs bathroom?

She didn't deserve anyone. And no one would want her now that she was tainted.

In Riley's room, everyone gathered near the bay window to discuss their next course of action. Riley sat in between Farkle and Lucas, with Zay standing off to the side. They kept their conversation quiet, lest Maya hear them from the bathroom next door.

"What are we going to do? Our entire class was at that party and I'm sure they know what happened by now. Mine and Maya's parents practically barged in demanding where we were," Riley groused, running a hand through tangled brown hair.

Farkle thought about it. "Well, technically they _don't_ know what happened, unless someone else knew about it. There will be rumors to deal with regardless, but school doesn't start for another two weeks so it should all die down by then."

"Guys, I think we're missing the point!" Lucas interrupted, not looking any calmer than he had an hour ago when he showed up, "Maya got… hurt," he choked on the last word, "and she needs us right now, to be there for her. We don't need to be worrying about what anyone else thinks."

No one wanted to say the **r** word, it was too much. It happened, and they would all get Maya through it together, but the word was as disgusting as the act and no one could fully bring themselves to say it out loud. Except for one person.

"Just **say** it, Lucas!" Riley bit out. "She wasn't just _hurt_ , she was raped! And I will never forgive myself for not staying by her side. Don't you think I know how serious this is?"

Lucas kept quiet. Everyone was weary of Riley's reaction. There was only so much time you could spend in Rileytown before the real world caught up to you. Riley looked as if her world had been shattered, and as much as he knew Maya was hurting, Riley was hurting too. They both needed their friends. Riley wasn't equipped to deal with such a traumatic event on her own, not when she tried to look for the best in people and the bright side to every situation.

There just wasn't a bright side in this situation.

"We all know how serious this is. There isn't much we can do, though. Maya is going to need counseling, at the least. We just need to be there for her, ready to give her anything she needs," Farkle said, being the voice of reason.

Maya stepped out of the shower feeling marginally better than before. Her skin was scrubbed raw and pink from trying to wash the feeling of his hands off of her. Her eyes were swollen and puffy from the therapeutic cry she had. Her bruises weren't something she could do much about, but if she wore pants and long sleeved shirts she'd be able to ignore the majority of them. The ache between her legs would fade soon enough. She needed to forget any of it happened.

After changing into the leggings and long-sleeved wool shirt she stole from Riley, she stepped out and into Riley's bedroom again. Everyone was seated at the bay window, save for Zay who was standing, looking rather serious.

"Why do you all look like that?" she asked, trying to sound light-hearted.

Riley looked up at her and shot her a very fake smile. "Nothing you need to worry about, Maya. Are you hungry? We should get some food in you," the brunette offered politely.

Lucas glared in Riley's direction, very _not okay_ with pretending that something very serious didn't just happen. Like it or not, Maya was going to need to deal with it. Counseling would help, but she needed to know that she didn't need to hide anything from them, him especially. He could understand her not wanting to break Riley's spirit, but no one should have to go through something like this and not be able to confide in their friends.

"Maya," he said sternly, standing up from his seat, "I think we need to talk, first."

He saw the confidence in Maya's eyes falter, her walls being shoved at but not falling. "I don't know what you're talking about Lucas. I'm just fine," she said.

"You're _not_ , and like it or not, you need to talk to us,"

"He's right, Maya," Riley said quietly, looking down at her feet. "You can't do this alone. I'm… we're all here for you,"

Maya felt her resolve crumbling. She'd already shown weakness to Farkle last night, and there wasn't much she could do to deny her best friend. It didn't help that they were right. She didn't know if she could do this alone. If she spent any amount of time by herself she felt so much shame and self-hatred. The shower she just took proved as much.

"I don't know what to say…"

Maya suddenly felt very small. She moved to sit on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. So much for her plan of making everyone else feel better. Inwardly, she knew they weren't about to let her suffer alone. It wasn't exactly like she could make everyone forget, especially if they already knew. Still, they didn't know everything. And if they really wanted to help her, she wanted at least one of them to have full disclosure.

The space beside her on the bed dipped with weight. She knew who it was without even looking up.

"You don't have to say anything now, Maya," Lucas told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into him, "But please talk to us about this. You can't carry all of this with you by yourself."

Maya nodded, allowing herself to fall into Lucas's safe embrace. If there was one place she knew she'd always be safe, it was with her friends and her family. Lucas's protective nature, Riley's cheery personality, Farkle's level-headedness, and Zay's refreshing goofiness were all things she needed in her life, she just didn't realize it until now. Even Smackle, who was pure in the way that she was still learning social etiquette, was a necessity in her life now.

"Thank you…" she hiccupped, feeling hot tears fall once again. It was nice to be held, to have a shoulder to cry on when she was in need.

And not for the first time in her life, Maya was reminded that she's not alone.

In the living room, the adults were also beginning to start their day. Topanga had to go to work, though she was extremely reluctant to do so. Cory had convinced her that it would be okay because he knew that the whole gang was in Riley's room and Shawn, Katy, and himself would still be around. Topanga had without a thought given Katy the day off, or however much time she needed to be with Maya, from the bakery, calling in some of her other workers to hold the fort down.

While Shawn and Katy made breakfast, Cory lounged on the couch. School thankfully didn't start for another couple of weeks and he'd been enjoying his summer off until now. As much as he wanted to be there for Maya, he knew there was only so much he could do and he longed for busywork to keep his mind off of everything. Though it seems in all the commotion he forgot about one thing…

"My brother!" Josh shouted as he waltzed through the door, casual as always.

Cory looked up in confusion. "Josh, aren't you supposed to be down in Philadelphia? School doesn't start for another month for you?"

"I told you I was coming in because I'm leading an orientation group for the rest of this month," Josh replied, crossing his arms, "Don't tell me you forgot. You told me I could crash here until I got my place set up."

Cory inwardly groaned. He remembered that conversation now. In reality, it had only been a couple weeks ago that Josh called asking if he could stay over for the last couple weeks of August until his lease began in September. He also did mention landing a job as an orientation leader. It felt like so long ago now, he's not surprised he'd forgotten.

"Right, that's it," he told his brother. "Alright, well the guest bed is all set up, I think. Or at least, it should be. No one's slept there since Christmas."

Josh looked around, noticing that the house was quieter than usual. Katy and Shawn were seated at the dining table eating, but there was no conversation and they looked so tired. Cory did too. "So where is everyone? Still having that summer vacation fun?"

That got Shawn's attention. "No, Riley's here, along with Maya. I know that's who you wanted to see when you showed up," he said, squinting at the young man. "She's in Riley's room. I don't think now is a good time to bother them though, Josh."

Josh quirked a brow. He couldn't think of a time Maya _didn't_ want to see him. "What's going on? Did I miss something?"

Cory sighed, suddenly feeling very, very tired. "Maya's just going through a really hard time right now, and Riley is helping her through it so you don't need to worry."

"If she's going through something, maybe we can talk about it? Maya and I have great conversations," the younger man commented, slowly beginning to make his way towards Riley's room.

Shawn stopped him. "I don't know if this is a conversation she wants to have with you."

The statement left Josh taken aback, and suddenly he grew worried. Over the summer he and Maya talked a lot. The Long Game was very much still in play and she knew that. They were good friends who hung out and laughed and shared their trials with one another. So for Shawn to say that Maya didn't want to talk about it, what possibly could have happened?

Against his brother and Shawn's wishes, he made his way up to the room anyways, determined to see Maya and figure out what the hell was going on.

Maya was still wrapped up tightly in Lucas's arms when a knock came from the doorway. Riley mumbled something about her dad not wanting them to miss breakfast before going to get it. The adults didn't barge in on them the entire morning or last night, respecting that their friends were there to help. They never worried about the kids being up to something they shouldn't be.

"Josh?" Riley said from the doorway, making Maya look up in panic. "What are you doing here?"

Riley stood protectively in front of the doorway, blocking Josh's view into the room. It wasn't that she didn't love her uncle, but she knew that Maya wouldn't appreciate letting him in without consulting her first. Maya cared about Josh's opinion a lot because she liked him, and Riley wouldn't put Maya in a spot that made her uncomfortable.

"I'm uh, here to see Maya actually," he said, trying to look over her head. At that moment, Riley was thankful for the growth spurt she'd had over the summer, putting her almost at Josh's height. He wouldn't be able to see over her.

She looked behind her briefly to see Maya shaking her head furiously, looking panicked. "I don't think now is a good time, Josh. Maya isn't feeling well," she told him sympathetically

Josh sighed. "Look, I know she's going through a rough time. I'd hope she trusts me enough to talk to me about it."

Riley closed the door, going back to sit next to Maya who reached for her hand and squeezed it gratefully. "Thanks, honey. I know he means well, but he can't see me like this."

"Maya, I'm pretty sure my uncle Josh knows you're not made of steel. He's pretty good at making people feel better, and you should trust him," Riley said.

"Also, if you really hope to have a relationship with him in the future, you should be open with him about how you feel. Maybe not tell him everything, since we know you don't want to talk about it. But maybe give him an explanation," Farkle said reasonably.

He knew from his own relationship that communication, while difficult at times, was key. Plus, he liked Josh and he knew that Josh cared about her a lot, and it was probably hurting him to think that Maya didn't want to talk to him.

Maya sighed, knowing Farkle was right. Even though Josh wasn't as inner circle as the rest of her friends, they were still close. She didn't want to tell him everything though, knowing that his perception of her would change as soon as he knew. He would be nice, treat her the same as he always did, but knowing she was used and dirty would shoot all chances of a possible relationship with him out the window.

"I'll talk to him."

While the boys gathered in the living room for some breakfast and to give Maya and Josh some privacy, Riley went to go get her uncle from the guest room. When she arrived, the door was open and he was unpacking a suitcase into the closet.

"Uncle Josh?" she said, knocking lightly on the doorframe and getting his attention, "Maya wants to see you."

When Josh arrived in Riley's room, he found Maya sitting in the bay window, arms crossed over her chest looking out the window. Slowly, he made his way to sit next to her, taking in her appearance and unusual behavior. She didn't greet him as soon as she saw him, didn't even acknowledge that he had come in the room. Her body language really did say that she didn't want to talk to him, and part of him wondered if he did the right thing by pushing.

"Cory said you were going through a hard time," he said softly in place of a greeting.

Still not looking at him, she shrugged. "You could say that."

"Want to talk about it?" he pressed, not knowing what kind of answer he'd get. So far, nothing has gone the way he'd expected it to.

Maya turned her gaze to the floor. "No, not really. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready," she spoke, so lowly he wasn't sure he'd heard her.

"I understand, but will you please look at me?"

Maya lifted her head to look at him, taking in his concerned gaze that made her want to cry all over again. Part of her wanted to tell him everything, to relish in all the comfort he had to offer because he was a Matthews and they were made for moments like these. But she couldn't, because she knew what would happen once she did. He wouldn't look at her this way ever again if he knew.

Josh furrowed his brow, noticing something dark along her neck, barely hidden by her hair. "Maya, are those _hickies_ on your neck?"

Maya gasped, flinging a hand up to cover her neck. "No, no they are not."

"They look like hickies to me. Is that why you didn't want to talk to me, Maya? Because you were afraid I'd notice them?"

She shook her head, mortified. "No, Josh. They're not hickies so please leave it alone."

"Look Maya, you don't have to lie about this," he insisted, "I get it, it's the long game. You're allowed to do whatever you want and I do what I want. Nothing changes."

Maya was getting angry. He wasn't getting it and he wasn't dropping the subject. And to think he'd thought she'd been _messing around_ with some guy and was embarrassed about some hickies, how dare he!? Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Josh, I'd like you to leave."

Josh was confused. "What? Why? Maya I'm not mad at you."

"I don't care. Get out."

Maya's eyes were red rimmed with tears of frustration and anger. She'd done everything to keep from telling him the truth so he wouldn't think she's tainted, and then he just goes and accuses her of being some slut. And what was with the "I can do what I want"? Was that just to piss her off?

Not knowing what to say at this point, Josh left the scene, immediately calling Riley back to console her. He didn't know what was going on through her head.

"So, what happened?" asked Lucas as a frustrated Josh came into the living room once more.

"I don't know. We didn't really talk much. I asked about the hickies on her neck and she told me to get out. I've never seen Maya act like that before," Josh told them, plopping down on the couch.

Farkle refrained from telling him that that's exactly how Maya is, she just doesn't act that way around him. He also didn't want to tell Josh that what he saw on her neck weren't hickies, but bruises. He didn't want to expose more than what Maya was willing to tell him, and if she didn't tell him what the marks on her neck really were, he doubted she'd want him to know what really happened.

It was frustrating, because Josh had a very supportive nature and cared about Maya very much. If there was someone besides Riley who understood how to make her feel better, it would be Josh.

Lucas kept his jaw tight, irritated at how the situation had been handled by Josh. It was a little invasive to point out the bruises on her neck, and presumptuous to assume they were hickies. He didn't even try to make her feel better, instead probably making her feel worse. He wasn't about to say anything though, because before anything else, Josh was a Matthews. And he was currently in the Matthews' residence, and he didn't want to do anything that would potentially get him kicked out.

"I'm sure Maya will come around, it's just kind of been a rough weekend," Farkle assured the best he could.

"Yeah man, besides we all know she's crazy about you. She won't push you away for long," Zay added, munching on a bowl of cereal.

Josh smiled half-heartedly. "Thanks guys, and thank you for being there for her. I'm glad she has friends like you all."

At that moment, Riley came into the room, looking a little distressed.

"Lucas," she panted, "Maya wants to see you. Come with me."


	4. Chapter 4: Telling All

Maya was hardly consolable when Riley arrived back in the room. She hurried to the bay window where the blonde sat, wiping furious tears from her eyes.

"Peaches?! What happened?"

"I pushed him away, Riles!" Maya sobbed, "I push everyone away… and now he probably hates me."

Riley sighed sympathetically and rubbed soothing circles into her best friend's back. "He doesn't hate you, Maya. He would never. And he's worried, just like the rest of us."

"I can't tell him, Riley," Maya insisted.

Riley knew inside why Maya wouldn't want Josh to know. Josh thought highly of her, and even though he knew she was human, she was still Maya Hunter. She was the strongest of all off them, and Josh had not been prepared to see Maya so broken. She didn't know how her uncle would react to what really happened. She wanted to believe that he wanted to help, but even though he cared about her, they weren't a couple and Josh had no obligation to stay. Maya was insecure about what Josh thought about her, and Riley knew Maya didn't want to be seen as weak.

"You're allowed to be scared, Maya. But you need to trust us. We all love you, even Josh," she told Maya.

The two sat in the window for a while longer, Riley using soothing words to get Maya to calm down. She hoped Josh didn't take Maya's outbursts too seriously, though Maya hadn't acted that way around him before. Maya was very much an open book when it came to Josh, and sometimes Riley wondered if Josh knew more about what went on between Maya's ears than she did these days. They texted back and forth for the entire summer, not going a single day without talking. And phone calls between the two could last for hours on end. What they talked about, Riley didn't know.

"Riley, can you do me a favor?"

Riley turned her head to her best friend, who now had dry eyes and a somewhat less red nose. "Anything, peaches,"

"I'm going to tell you everything," Maya said seriously. Riley looked at her with wide eyes.

"Peaches, are you sure? It's so soon. We're not expecting anything from you right now," she told the blonde, who was looking at her with the most determined expression she's ever seen.

"I'm sure, Riley. I know it needs to be you, but I also think there should be someone else, someone who can handle it in case you can't," Maya said hollowly.

Riley nodded slowly, understanding where Maya was coming from. There was only so much she'd be able to take in the end, and if Maya was going to give full disclosure, she needed someone stable. Farkle was a reasonable choice, he had a steady head and knew a lot about the world already. But there was the issue that while Farkle could be calm, he also would be torn apart, and was likely to have a similar reaction to Riley. Riley knew that Maya and Zay shared a bond, but Zay wasn't terribly great with crying girls.

"Lucas," Riley offered. Maya immediately declined.

"He'll become Texas Lucas in an instant," Maya said.

It was true, but from what Riley saw earlier, Lucas cared a lot about Maya's well-being, and he would put her first. Before becoming Texas Lucas, he would control himself and be there for Maya.

"You didn't see him earlier, when you were asleep. He really wants to help, and not just the Texas Lucas way," Riley told her.

Maya didn't understand. In her experience, Lucas was the protector, and things weren't pretty when he got blinded by his rage. She didn't want to be the reason he went off and did something reckless. The way he reacted when Riley was getting bullied was borderline scary, and this was something else entirely.

"I don't know, Riley. I was thinking Farkle…"

"Farkle would be great, and he's reasonable, but I think you need more than reason right now, Maya. Farkle doesn't handle things like this very well emotionally," Riley said.

And she was right, Maya knew. They've known Farkle for basically their entire life, and while he was doing okay right now, he wouldn't be in very good shape if he knew the whole story. Like Riley, he's never been exposed to something like this. Lucas, at least, was more down to Earth and he and Maya have had many conversations about things that were just a little too dark for the other two. She sighed, knowing Riley was right on this one.

"Maya, I thought I understood why you don't want Josh to know, but I think it's something else… this isn't about him thinking you are weak, is it?" Riley prodded softly.

The blonde looked down at her feet. "He'd never want me if he knew," she admitted in a low voice.

"Maya!" Riley gasped, "You don't actually think that, do you?"

Riley knew her uncle Josh, and he wasn't so shallow of a person that he would like her any less because of what happened. He was a Matthews, like her, and he would love Maya all the same no matter what. And if his feelings were true, Riley was confident that he would take care of her and make her feel better. Their relationship had gotten stronger since that weekend at the Ski Lodge, and there was still the long game. Maya couldn't jeopardize what they potentially had between them.

"I don't want him to know, Riley! I'm too ashamed…"

Riley sighed, knowing there was no use trying to convince her right now. When Maya's mind was set, it was set. Josh would know soon enough, because she trusted that their relationship wouldn't keep them apart for long. In the meantime, she would talk to Josh and try to get him to be patient with her. All Maya needed was time. And right now, she needed a strong friend to talk to.

"So, Lucas?"

"Fine, bring him here. I'll tell you guys everything."

Riley ran to the living room, where she knew the boys all sat waiting. "Lucas!" she panted, anxious to know Maya's side of the story, "Maya wants to see you. Come with me."

Lucas's eyes widened in surprise, and he turned to look at Farkle and Zay, who looked equally as surprised. Josh looked disgruntled, and a little annoyed. What could Maya need him for?

"Riley, what's going on?" he asked as he met her in the threshold.

"Maya's going to tell us what happened," Riley told him, obviously nervous if the way she was wringing her hands was any indicator.

Lucas felt chills run down his spine. So that was it, Maya was just going to tell them everything? He didn't expect for her to be so quick to spill. Needless to say, he wasn't about to rush her into doing something she wasn't ready.

"Should I get the others?" he asked, pointing back to the living room. Riley shook her head.

"No, it needs to be just us. Maya was only going to tell me but we both know I probably wouldn't be able to handle it, so you need to be there too."

Lucas understood. Riley had a soft soul, and he knew that as much as she needed to know what really happened, it would break her heart in the worst of ways. Riley needed to know that not everyone had good in their hearts, and that there were terrible people in the world who did terrible things, like Charles Hollis. And not only that, but this was Maya they were talking about. He would contain himself for Maya's sake, but Riley isn't as familiar with those dark feelings like he was. She wouldn't be able to sit through it, so he needed to be there.

"Okay, let's go."

Maya was nervous.

There was only so much she remembered, and she knew that once she started recalling it, more would come back to her. She needed to tell her friends, because there was no way she'd be able to live keeping it all to herself. She took a deep breath and waited for Riley and Lucas to enter the room. Riley would always be there for her, that she knew. It was her and Riley until the very end. And Lucas would understand, he would be angry and upset but not at her. He cared so much about his friends and she trusted that he'd put her first, before his anger.

"Maya?"

The blonde looked up from the bay window and saw Lucas and Riley standing in front of the door. She motioned for them to join her.

"Are you sure you're ready to talk about this, Maya? You know you don't have to," Lucas said to her as he sat down on her left. Riley took the seat on her right and immediately reached for her hand.

Maya gulped. "I'm sure, I need to get this all off my chest. Just promise you won't leave," she pleaded, choking back her tears. She had to start off strong, and no matter how hard things got she was going to tell them everything.

"I would never leave you, Peaches," Riley told her firmly. But Maya knew that, and she wasn't really talking to Riley.

She looked to Lucas. He stared back with an emotion that she couldn't quite place. "I won't leave Maya, no matter how bad it is,"

Maya took a deep breath. This was it.

" _Oh my god, I remember!" Maya shouted above the loud music playing from inside. David laughed joyously beside her as they both recalled a funny memory from Mr. Jackson's art class._

" _Did you really draw boobs for your final portfolio, Dave?" Charles guffawed with them._

 _David shrugged, "He said to draw what we were passionate about!"_

 _Maya laughed. She didn't think she'd be having such a good time with these two but she was. David was cool to talk to when he wasn't so quiet and Charles was much less sleazy than when he first introduced himself. She learned they were cousins, and she could totally see the resemblance now. She was on her second drink, the first one only leaving her a bit buzzed with her alcohol tolerance. David made this one for her, a mixture of rum and a sweet pineapple-orange juice._

" _So, you're in art with David? You must be pretty good then, he told me he was in an advanced art class," Charles said to her. She shrugged._

" _I'm okay, I guess," she said modestly. Talking about her art wasn't really her thing, she thought it made her sound conceited._

" _She's more than okay. She's Mr. Jackson's top student," David added, taking small puffs from a newly rolled joint._

 _Charles raised an eyebrow. "Well, you're gonna have to show me your work sometime,"_

 _It sounded like a suggestion, but he definitely wasn't Maya's type and she wasn't really looking for someone at the moment. Still, that didn't mean she couldn't flirt a little bit. And then she could tease Josh a little about having the attention of another college guy._

" _Hm, we'll see," she teased._

 _They all chatted for some time longer, not really growing tired of each other's company. Charles was an interesting character. He studied business at NYU, but before that he was a theater major. He knew Missy Bradford's older brother, Eric, and was only here to drop something off for him when he caught sight of David and decided to stay for the party. His favorite past time was embarrassing David, from what Maya gathered. He told many stories about what he was like as a kid. When he invited her inside to play some beer pong, Maya didn't think twice about it._

" _You know the rules, blondie?" He'd been calling her that all night, even though she told him her name. She didn't mind really._

 _She smirked. "Sure do, you sink the ball and drink right?"_

 _He laughed. The duo dominated the first round of beer pong, and Maya was having a really fun time. She saw Riley in the other room with Kenny, and just as she was about to go over to them, Charles caught her arm._

" _Hey, wait up! Let's get a celebratory drink first," he said, his grip dropping to her hand as he led her into the kitchen._

 _Riley and Kenny could wait, Maya thought. She would take a shot or something with Kenny and then leave to go check on Riley. It wasn't going to take long, she figured. She followed Charles into the kitchen and watched him pull two red solo cups from the stack, filling them both halfway with the jungle juice. His back was to her, which went up as a red flag in her mind, but she dismissed it quickly. He seemed like a decent guy, and he just wanted a drink._

 _He handed her one of the cups and raised his own, "To destroying the other team at beer pong!" he shouted, raising his cup high into the air._

 _Maya lifted her own and giggled, repeating what he said before downing the contents of the cup. It was jungle juice, so she didn't expect it to taste great, but it was pretty awful. She sputtered a little bit and coughed, wishing she had her rum and juice back._

Maya shuddered as she told her story, watching her friends' reactions carefully. Riley was doing okay so far, looking concerned but not panicked or anything yet. Lucas was looking at her carefully, expression blank. His jaw was unclenched and she couldn't see Texas Lucas coming forth any time soon, or until she finished her story.

"The rest is… kinda fuzzy," she admitted, looking back and forth between them.

"Tell us what you do remember, this is the important part," Lucas said to her, reaching for her left hand. She appreciated the gesture, because the next part was difficult.

"We're here for you, Maya," Riley whispered, wrapping an arm around her best friend.

Anxiously, Maya continued. The next thing she remembered was the bathroom.

" _Come on, blondie. Show me a good time," he whispered into her ear, stroking her hair softly._

 _Maya shuddered, barely aware of where she was. How did she get here? She could barely make out what he was saying. It was as if her mind was flooded with water, he sounded muffled and far away. She looked around blearily, taking in her surroundings. She was in the bathroom, but not the downstairs one because this one looked different. She wasn't standing, instead sitting on the counter while Charles was wrapped around her. Where were her pants?_

 _What the fuck was in that jungle juice?_

 _The last thing she remembered clearly was taking a cup full of jungle juice from him downstairs. "Fuck," she muttered, head rolling back._

" _Yeah, you want to?" Charles growled, grabbing her breasts._

 _She couldn't feel what he was doing, she couldn't feel much of anything, but there was a mirror hanging on the wall across from them and she could see everything clearly. He was touching her everywhere, her breasts, her thighs, her arms… everywhere. He wasn't being gentle, she could tell. She desperately wanted him to stop._

" _Get off of me," she slurred lowly, trying to keep her focus. It was hard with whatever was in her system. Was she drunk? Drugged? She tried raising her fists to hit him._

" _Ooh ho ho, there you go," he said, catching her wrists easily and squeezing so hard Maya felt it. It hurt._

" _You're not going anywhere," he growled._

 _There was a sharp pain on her face, and her world whirled around her before coming into focus again. She looked up, and she was in a different position than before. Earlier she was sitting on the counter, and now she was bent over it. She could see herself in the mirror walled behind the countertop, eyes blank and lost and a bruise blossoming on her cheek. There was a scratch on her forehead that wasn't there before._

" _I'm going to enjoy this," a disgusting voice sounded from behind her. She couldn't feel anything, but in the mirror she could see that he ripped her underwear off, and felt a panic begin to rise in her chest, stronger than ever before._

" _Please don't," she begged, feeling tears leak out of her eyes, "Please." She tried to get up, pulling up all of her strength._

" _Shut up!" he snarled, grasping the back of her neck with one hand tight enough for her inebriated mind to feel it._

 _Maya squeezed her eyes shut and desperately tried to ignore everything that was happening. She knew what was going to happen, and that she was powerless against him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he abused her. She heard the door open and shut, thinking that there might have been someone who saw. She prayed to God someone would help her, but no one would come until much later. She tried not to pay attention, to ignore him, but he was hardly letting her._

" _You fucking slut, did you really think you could tease me all night like you did and then try to run off?"_

 _Maya sobbed. When would this nightmare be over?_

"And that's all I remember…" Maya trailed off, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. When would these tears end? She didn't want to live her whole life feeling so weak to those memories.

In the middle, as expected, Riley had to leave the room. She mumbled a small "I can't…" before walking briskly out of the room. Maya hadn't expected much from her, and was now glad that she still had someone to turn to after telling her story. She was halfway in Lucas's lap, sobbing quietly into his shirt as he ran his fingers through her hair and comforted her the best he could. It was not a position she ever expected to be in, but well, there they were.

"I'm going to kill him," Lucas said, next to no emotion in his voice. He had to keep his voice monotone so as not to scare her.

Maya scoffed. "Yeah, Huckleberry, get in line."

Lucas pulled her face up from his chest and looked at her seriously, no ounce of amusement in his eyes. "Everyone else is bluffing. I'll do it, just say the word. Say the word, Maya, and he will never bother you again."

Maya was stunned to silence by the sincerity in his tone. He really meant it. He would commit a capital crime if it meant keeping her safe. That was scary. She'd never seen Lucas so serious about something before in her life. He wasn't Texas Lucas right now, he was something else entirely.

"Lucas," she said, reaching up to cup his face, "Are you okay?"

Lucas placed his hand over hers and sighed deeply. "To tell you the truth, Maya, no. I am not okay and I probably won't be until I get my hands on that bastard myself," he said. He didn't mention that he probably wouldn't be okay until he knew for sure that Maya was okay. And he knew she wasn't going to be okay for a long time.

Maya frowned. "You know you can't do that. He's in jail anyways, from what Riley told me. It's pointless. And even if he wasn't I don't want you going after him. You'd get in trouble,"

"Like I care," he scoffed. "He hurt you, in the worst possible way. He's not going to get away with it."

Maya sniffled and buried her head into his chest once more, wrapping her arms around his midsection. He returned the embrace whole heartedly, burying his nose in her golden locks. _Charles Hollis,_ he thought, _I'm coming for you._

It took a few minutes for Maya to collect herself before pulling away from Lucas. She felt a little better, now that someone else knew the story and she didn't have to carry it around all by herself. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, a burden she now shared with Lucas. He was strong, and like Riley had said, he put her feelings before his vengeful emotions. She could trust him with anything.

"Maya?" a knock came from the bedroom door. Maya pulled her hand out of Lucas's grasp and scooted just a little further from him.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal Josh, looking worried and apologetic. He walked over to the bay window and sat on Maya's other side. He reached out and grabbed her right hand, lacing their fingers together. Lucas took this as his cue to leave, getting up from his seat and making his way to the door.

"Lucas," Maya said, stopping him in his tracks. He turned to look at her and she flashed him a very forced half-smile. "Thank you," she told him. He winked at her.

"Anytime."

Maya turned her attention back to Josh, who was looking at the door with a curious expression on his face. "What is it, Josh?"

She was still mad at him for the hickey comments earlier, but he didn't seem like he was about to pry any further. "Look, Maya," he started, looking down at the floor, "I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. It was disrespectful of me to make assumptions and then accuse you of lying. You deserve better than that, especially at a time like this,"

He brought his eyes up to meet hers and she saw how genuine his words were, forgiving him immediately. She acted irrationally as well, not even bothering to explain herself to him. Still, a small part of her panicked. Did he know something? Did Riley tell him after all?

"I know what you're thinking, and no, Riley didn't tell me anything," Josh said, "But she's in pretty bad shape right now. She's with her dad, so don't worry. But Maya, you're scaring me."

Josh scooted a bit closer to her, close enough that they were hip to hip and he held her hand with both of his. Maya desperately wanted to tell him, she craved his reassurance. But at the same time, she didn't want to take that chance.

"Josh, I _really_ like you," she admitted, not for the first time, "And I'm scared. I don't know what you'll think."

"Maya, whatever happened right now gave Riley a panic attack. This is serious, and you know what, it's fine if you can't talk to me, but promise me you'll get help?"

Maya inwardly snorted. She knew how serious this was. Hell, everyone in the house right now knew how serious it was. It was a little unfair to Josh to keep such a thing from him, since he was just as close to her as Lucas, or Zay, or Smackle. They all had the right to know, and so did he. Riley was right, she could trust Josh. And she wanted to believe that he wouldn't see her any differently.

"Josh…" she began, taking her other hand and putting it atop their conjoined ones, "I promise I'll be getting help, if you promise not to see me any differently or like me any less when I tell you what happened,"

Josh's eyebrows rose in surprise. She was going to tell him after all? "Of course, Maya. I don't think there's anything you could say that'd make me like you less,"

Maya smiled, albeit a little sadly. She wanted to believe him, but there was always a chance. "Okay, well… it all began on Saturday…"


	5. Chapter 5: Fro-Yo Anyone?

**Please read author's note at the end.**

By the time Maya had finished her story, one usually cool and composed Joshua Matthews was stunned speechless. He was frozen in place, and he hadn't moved since Maya had told him that she took a drink from a near stranger at a party thrown by someone she barely knew. It was unbelievable, unfathomable. He felt his bones quake with emotions he could not name as she neared the end of her story. She was remarkably calm, for her part, and he suspected that her telling Lucas and Riley had something to do with that. The memories were no longer new.

"Maya," he started, breathless. "I had no idea it was this bad,"

Josh covered his face with his hands, ashamed by his earlier actions. The marks on her neck were bruises, not hickeys. How could he have been so senseless? And she was obviously uncomfortable with the topic, yet he pushed anyways and made her angry.

"I'm sorry," Maya said, voice feeble and small. It didn't suit her, not one bit.

"Sorry? What the hell do you have to be sorry for?" his voice shook when he spoke, as he was still trying to take in everything that had happened.

Maya's cheeks were flushed red and he could see tears beginning to well in her eyes. _Oh._

"Maya, this doesn't change anything. It's horrible and awful what happened to you, but of course I still like you and care about you. This does nothing to change that," he told her.

"You're sure? I feel like the grossest scum on the planet," she admitted lowly, trying to disengage their hands. He held on tight though.

"You are _not_ and you will never be. You are Maya Hunter, previously Hart,"

Josh was an unending fountain of support from then on, and Maya was happy to know that she could come to him whenever she was having a particularly bad time. Two weeks later, on September 4th, school started for Lucas, Zay, Riley, Farkle and Smackle, but not for Maya. Cory, along with the other adults, decided it would be better for Maya if she took some time away from school, a couple of months at the least. Riley was adamant about her best friend coming to school with her, that she would protect her at all costs, but Cory helped her understand that maybe Maya wasn't ready to be around other people yet.

Maya had spent the remaining two weeks before school started at Riley's house. They didn't go out much, except to Topanga's and occasionally out to get a couple of tacos. Riley realized that Maya wasn't comfortable around people she didn't know, specifically men. This was going to be a long journey back to the Maya they knew before. And even then, Riley wasn't sure that Maya would ever be the same.

While everyone else went to school, Maya spent her time working at Topanga's. She spent the entire time behind the counter, cashiering and baking and making drinks. Her mother was the manager, so they spent a lot of time together, plus she got days off in which she spent with Shawn when he was in town. When the gang finished with school, they would meet up at Topanga's and bring Maya her work from school. Farkle and Riley usually were the ones to help her with school work, and occasionally Lucas or Smackle would step in when they were busy.

Surprisingly, she saw a lot of Josh while working at the bakery. He was always there midday, doing homework and studying for classes. He told her that because the bakery was quiet during the day, it was the perfect study spot, and a lot less stressful than the libraries at NYU. Sometimes, when he wasn't so swamped with work, he would order a coffee and sit at the bar and chat with her. He made sure she was getting along alright and during her breaks they would work on her homework together. It was a nice setup.

It surprised her one day when Lucas showed up in the morning, just as her 9am shift was beginning.

"Lucas, what are you doing here? Don't you have school today?" Katy asked as she saw him walk in. She was currently brewing some fresh coffee for the morning regulars.

Lucas smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

Katy raised an eyebrow, but Lucas didn't say anything more, just sat at the bar and ordered a flat white. "Is Maya in today?" he asked.

"She's in the back, getting all the baking done for the morning," the blonde woman replied, setting his drink down in front of him.

"Would you be inclined to give her the day off?" he asked hesitantly in a hushed voice, leaning over the counter.

Katy pretended to act surprised. Truth be told, she knew why he was here the minute he showed up. Everyone else had done practically the same thing and skipped school just to spend a day with her daughter. She had strong suspicions Cory and Topanga both knew, but let them off the hook for it. She'd given up her daughter to the company of both Farkle and Riley so far, and figured it wouldn't be long before she saw the southern boy come in for her as well. She'd always like Lucas, as he reminded her of her days growing up in the South, and he was a true gentleman to top it all off.

"Well, I don't see why not. Poor girl's been worked to the bone all week, and she's pretending that she likes it," Katy said, eyes twinkling with amusement as she saw the boy's lips turn up.

"I'll gladly wait til she's done baking, ma'am. I can see how hard it is to run this place," said Lucas.

"Sure thing. She'll be done in an hour,"

Lucas sat and waited, checking his phone and replying to his texts from both Zay and Farkle, who were wondering where he was. He'd already told Riley and Mr. Matthews how he would be spending the day, and neither were against it. Riley had already skipped class on multiple occasions (against her better judgement and personality) to spend time with her best friend. He knew that for the most part though, Maya didn't leave the bakery without her mother or Shawn to escort her home. He wanted things to be different, for Maya to go back to being fearless.

He knew she was scared, but he would be with her and would protect her at whatever cost. It just wasn't fair to her to not be able to do all the things she used to enjoy so much because she's become a borderline agoraphobic. So today, he planned to take her around the city and show her that she didn't need to be afraid of people. Once she realized that, she would be able to attend school with them again and hang out with them more.

"Okay mom, I baked the gingersnaps, the scones, croissants, and Danishes. Is there anything else that needs to be done for the morning?"

Maya stepped out from the back wearing a dark red apron dusted with flour. She had bits of flour flaked in the ends of her hair and some of it streaked her arms. Lucas had to hold back his chuckles. It wasn't every day you'd see Maya Hunter in such a state. It was almost adorable.

It took a few seconds for Maya to notice him, her cheeks pinking instantly. "Lucas, what are you doing here?"

Lucas smiled, "Well you've spent enough time slaving away at the baking, what do you say we go grab some frozen yogurt, my treat,"

Maya inwardly cursed. He knew she wouldn't say no if he paid. But wait, the nearest frozen yogurt shop was five blocks away at least. "Lucas, I can't. I have a lot of work to do today."

Lucas frowned. He figured it would be difficult to get Maya out of the bakery, but he knew this would be good for her. It's been two months since school began, and everyone was miserable at school without her. Plus, Riley said she'd been getting better, that she was talking more and starting to act like her normal self again. He was hoping getting her out onto the city streets again would help bring her back.

"Come on, Maya. It's a few blocks, and I'll be by your side at all times," he promised. She looked like she was close to accepting his offer.

Maya thought about it. She hadn't been anywhere except the Matthews' and the bakery in quite a while, and frozen yogurt did sound good. The only thing was that the last time Riley tried to make her go out, she completely froze up in fear before they made it down the block. Her shoulder had brushed up against that of a man, and she suddenly was paralyzed with fear.

Would she be able to live like this for the rest of her life? She didn't want to. She wanted to be happy again, to feel safe again. Truth be told, she had been getting better. She felt safe around her friends and her family, which extended to include Cory and Topanga. She liked to think working at the bakery helped. She spent a lot of time chatting with the regulars, most of them older women. And while she still felt uncomfortable around men, she knew internally that she was okay because her mom was just around the corner.

The medications she'd been on were helping too. She was on a relatively high dose of anti-anxiety medication, along with a prescription for Xanax in case she ever had a panic attack. Riley was on a lower dose of those medications for a while, but she hadn't needed them in about a month. Maya was glad that Riley didn't need medication anymore, but she knew it would be a while before she was weened off of them. The good thing was they helped. She didn't think she could make it through the day without her anti-anxiety meds to calm her nerves, though she rarely took the Xanax. It made her feel numb, and sometimes reminded her of how she felt on those drugs.

"Okay, Huckleberry, let's go," she heard herself say.

Grinning, Lucas offered his arm out for her to hold on. Maya debated with herself, not really wanting to swallow what's left of her pride, but knowing that contact would make her feel safer. Lucas would never hold something like this over her, though. She knew that much. In the end, she pouted as she took his arm and allowed him to lead her out of the bakery.

Though as soon as they were out of the bakery, Lucas released her arm and instead wrapped his around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

"Is this okay?" he asked, trying to make sure she was completely comfortable.

Maya smiled a little to herself and didn't reply, but she made no move to shrug his arm off either. There was a time when she would have never allowed herself to look weak in front of Lucas, but times had changed. She hadn't told anyone the details about that night since she confided in him and Josh. Both of them were pretty adept to handling the situation whenever she felt her world coming apart again. Josh was the type to look her in the eyes and verbally remind her of how strong she is, while Lucas allowed her to feel vulnerability, and he never once judged her. She felt closer to him for that reason.

When they reached the froyo shop, Lucas insisted on allowing her to get the biggest size, even though Maya knew she wouldn't be able to finish it. He probably wanted her to get the big one so he could finish it when she inevitably claimed she was full. Selfish of him, but she allowed it. He was paying for her anyways.

She chose raspberry, not being overly fond of the sweeter flavors. She topped it with a mountain of gummy bears, gummy sharks, and other fruity candies. Lucas picked out a caramel flavor, yuck, and topped it with granola, almonds, and chocolate chunks.

"Didn't peg you for a sweet tooth, Ranger Rick," she commented, eyeing the chocolate drizzle he was pouring over his froyo.

He rolled his eyes at her snark, but inwardly smiled. It was moments like these when she became the Maya that he knew that made it all worth it. "Yeah, well I never thought you'd be a fruity girl either, but here we are," he retorted.

Maya was so caught up in feeling the nostalgia in their good ole bickering, she failed to notice until it was too late just who was ringing her up at the register.

"That'll be 11.26,"

She froze.

Someday, when she was old and possibly senile, she would forget things like the way Auggie laughed his little seven-year-old laugh, or how Mrs. Bates from her English class always mispronounced her name. But there was one thing she knew she would never forget ever in her life. And it was that voice.

Maya didn't know what prompted her to lift her head, to face who she knew was there, but she did. The second that her eyes caught his green ones staring down at her, she bolted.

She fled to the streets of Manhattan, not caring where she was going so long as it was _the hell away from that froyo shop_. What was he doing there? Shouldn't he be in jail? It's been months, and Topanga had assured her that she would never see him again. Her heart pounded as she turned corners, first left, and then right and ran until she found herself in a part of the city she was no longer familiar with.

There were street signs with names she didn't recognize, and she walked to a bench underneath a sign that read _James J Walker Park_ before collapsing on it and bursting into tears. She felt her panic begin to well up in her chest, and berated herself for handing her emergency medication to Lucas before they left Topanga's. She just left him there at the froyo shop, and he was probably worried sick. Hurriedly, she reached for her phone and just as she thought, seventeen missed calls and twenty-four text messages, with several expletives and mostly in all caps. Oh, she had done it this time.

Within seconds, her phone rang again. Almost hesitantly, she answered and held the phone to her ear.

"Oh, thank goodness," was all the other line said before going silent for a while. She sobbed quietly into the receiver, not being able to hold it in.

"Maya," Lucas said patiently, "Can you please tell me where you are?"

When the blonde had originally bolted from the froyo place, Lucas immediately ran after her, his instinct to protect coming over him stronger than ever before. He didn't even pay for the frozen treat, dropping it to the ground as soon as he heard the door slam. Maya was fast though, and small. She blended in with the crowd too easily and within minutes he'd lost her. She didn't answer several of his calls, and he'd sent her a few very strongly worded text messages in his panic. He didn't know where she was, she hadn't walked the streets of New York in months, and she now had crippling anxiety.

When he heard the phone click on the other end of his eighteenth call, he steeled himself. He would not get mad, he would not get mad, he would not get mad. Anger was the last thing Maya needed right now, and he was not about to berate her for what happened, no matter how much she worried him.

She was crying, as expected. Whatever it was that made her bolt was enough to do some damage, obviously. He was trying _really_ hard to remain calm.

"I-I don't really know," she admitted in a small voice. "I don't recognize anything over here anymore, nothing looks familiar."

Lucas cursed. "Can you give me like a landmark or something? I can use Google Maps to find you or something,"

Maya hiccupped, and it took a second for her to answer, but he was relieved when she did. "James J Walker Park,"

Oh good, he knew that park too. He once took care of his neighbor's dog and took him to that particular park. It was actually really close to where he lived.

"Okay, sit tight. I'm coming to get you. Do you want me to stay on the line?"

He didn't need to hear her answer, he could hear in her sobs how much she needed him to stay on the line. He sprinted down the sidewalks, dodging all of the New Yorkers and ignored their shouts of irritation. He was on a mission, and he was needed. The path was at least familiar to him, and thankfully he didn't even need to pull up Google Maps to know where she was.

When he arrived, she was curled up in a ball on a bench in front of the park with the phone pressed tightly against her ear, breathing very hard. He knew what her panic attacks looked like, he'd been witness to a couple of them in the past, and instinctually he reached for her emergency medication stashed in his pocket. Xanax was a powerful drug, a depressant. He didn't like that she had to take it, because it turned her into what was almost like a sleepy robot.

Carefully, he made sure she knew it was him before going to sit next to her. He uncurled her arms from her legs and asked her to look up at him. When she did, he didn't think he'd ever seen anyone so frightened. To say she looked like she'd just seen a ghost was an understatement. Her eyes were wide and red-rimmed with still falling tears. Her mouth shook with quiet, almost silent sobs. In that moment, Lucas wasn't sure he'd ever seen this person before. The expression on her face was just so foreign.

"I have your pill, I didn't bring anything for you to take it with though. You'll have to swallow it dry," he told her, pulling out a small pill from her pill case. Her hands shook so bad he didn't trust her to hold it and not drop it, so instead he instructed her to open her mouth.

She swallowed the pill easily, greedily almost, but her hyper ventilations did not cease immediately. Lucas pulled the blonde girl into him, hoping she would calm down if she felt safe, and she once confided that she always felt safe with him.

It took ten minutes of Lucas's careful comforting and breathing instruction for her to finally calm down. She was exhausted, and she knew that taking the Xanax, while necessary would make her sleep for a stupid amount of time. She leaned her head against Lucas's chest and allowed the pills to work their magic. She was calm, she was safe…

And her fucking rapist worked at a froyo shop.

 **A/N: This chapter might be filler, yes. But it was necessary to me. Many people, including victims of sexual assault, live with PTSD and anxiety. If you know someone with an anxiety disorder, please be considerate of them and learn how to deal with things like panic and/or anxiety attacks. It is important and not something someone should take lightly.**

 **ALSO, I see a lot of you are Joshaya shippers. Good for you, I myself love some Joshaya, and I think they work very well together. HOWEVER, I also like Lucaya (I'm just a big fan of Maya ok and I think she deserves all da bois), and I will write this story how ever I see fit, Lucaya included. THIS STORY IS A SLOW ASS BURN OK. The endgame isn't going to be clear immediately, and you WILL see more triangle stuff going on because that's how it plays out in my head. Yes, there will be Joshaya moments AND there will be Lucaya moments, and while I encourage you to root for your favorite dude, I am the one who writes the story and I will not tolerate being flamed for writing it exactly as I imagined.**

 **Anyways, keep reading til the end and find out if your dude wins ;)**


	6. Chapter 6: It Takes A Village

**Ask and you shall receive. I almost discontinued this, but I will be finishing this story sooner than I'd hoped, due to all the backlash I've been getting. You can expect only a few more chapters after this one.**

Two days after her run in with Charles Hollis at the yogurt shop, Maya was sitting in her bedroom doing her homework, Skype open on her computer with Josh on the other end doing the same. It was somewhat of a night time routine now, talking to him late at night as she did her homework. She told him about Lucas taking her out to get froyo, and about her horrible reaction to seeing Charles again.

"It's a completely normal reaction, Maya. It's not like you expected to see him, and I'm sure you were startled," he assured her.

Maya closed her math textbook. She wouldn't be getting much geometry done tonight, it seemed. "I was a lot more than startled, though. I was like paralyzed with fear. I mean, I knew in the back of my mind that he was out on bail, but I was naïve to think I wouldn't have to see him again. His trial date isn't until March."

Josh was silent for a little while. "Are you prepared?" He asked, after a little while.

Maya thought about it. She didn't know exactly if she would have to appear in court. Topanga said she was handling it and she trusted the woman to tell her if she needed to testify in person. If not her, then Riley would, she supposed. Her best friend would be more than happy to stand in her place if she asked. Then again, she didn't know if she wanted to put Riley through that either.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I'm scared, but at the same time I'm ready for him to be gone for good, I think that's the only way I can get past this."

Talking to Josh was just a little easier than talking to an adult, and he always handled things with maturity and elegance. It wasn't like talking to Lucas or Riley, who didn't know really how to talk her through things, but could only offer their emotional support and comfort. Josh offered guidance, but was also there whenever she just wanted to vent and be sad. Things were getting easier before, but ever since that morning, she'd been a little rocky.

Riley was the queen of distracting her best friend. Together they watched endless movies, gossiped about boys that Riley was talking to, and read teen magazines. When Maya was with her, it was like the whole thing never even happened. She was back to being the fun, exciting Maya that she was before. Sometimes, it was enough. But other times, she would lie awake in Riley's bed at night, reliving the incident and telling herself how worthless she was.

Depression was hard, especially when everyone around you was trying their best to ignore it. Riley refused to believe anything was wrong with her friend. Lucas understood, but he was clueless as to what to do about it so they never really talked about it. Farkle was amazing to talk to, but whenever she did, she felt like he acted different for a few days after. She was afraid she was affecting his own mental state when she talked about how she was feeling. Zay would try to cheer her up, and would often feel down on himself when he couldn't. Smackle, try as she might, didn't understand the emotional aspect of depression, and only talked scientifically about neurotransmitters and the such whenever such a subject was brought up. All in all, her friends tried and she appreciated them for doing so, but Josh was the only one who sort of just _knew_.

He was always patient with her, like all of her friends were, but he never tried to ignore the issue and always considered her feelings. He didn't like to touch on anything that might trigger her anxiety or depression, but he somehow always knew when to push. He told her, once, that he experienced depression and anxiety during his first year of college. He hadn't been ready and the adjustment was hard for him. It wasn't anything like her depression, no, but he had an understanding. He knew what it was like to go through days not really seeing or feeling anything, but just living like a robot.

"So, how did the cowboy take it when he found out what happened? Riley told me he has somewhat of a history," Josh spoke, pretending not to be that interested.

Maya's brow furrowed. "I haven't heard from him since. Riley said he hasn't been at school either, so I don't really know. He didn't really... _seem_ angry when I told him though,"

Josh released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "I suppose that's for the best then. If he does something stupid, he could end up in jail right next to Charles. He is old enough to be tried as an adult now,"

She knew that. She was the one who told him not to do anything stupid and made him promise not to get angry and turn into Texas Lucas when she told him why she ran away. He'd made a whole big deal of carrying her all the way back to Topanga's where he met with her mother and they both took her home. Then, he refused to leave until she woke up and told him why she ran off in the first place. Thinking about it almost sent her into another panic attack, but she managed to get it out anyways. When she finished, Lucas bid her a quick goodnight and walked briskly out the door. She hadn't seen or talked to him since then.

She was beginning to feel it again, the darkness creeping back in. She wished Riley was there to distract her from it, or for Zay to come in and crack a stupid joke that she could laugh at. She wanted someone there, anyone tangible, for her to hold onto and make her feel like she was a person again.

"I wish you were here, Josh," she whispered quietly. She didn't think he'd heard her, but he did.

"Me too,"

Josh smiled, seeing Maya's face bloom with a red flush. He loved making her blush, especially when he made comments out of the blue like that. Unfortunately, the casual "you're gorgeous" didn't work so well anymore. Pre-ski-lodge, the phrase would have made her squeal and bounce up and down, but now when he said it she either looked down at her feet shyly or scoffed and told him to shut up. Either reaction was cute, but he loved seeing her a little flustered.

Things were going well between them, he thought. She hadn't pushed him away since she told him the entire story. He was surprised to find out that only himself and Lucas really knew the entire story in full detail. He supposed it made sense, but he couldn't fathom why she would feel it necessary to tell _Lucas_ anything. It didn't seem outwardly that they were that good of friends, when compared to her relationship with Riley or Farkle.

Huh, he guessed it really wasn't any of his business. As long as it was helping Maya.

"Uh, so you said you were having trouble with geometry?" he asked, bringing the conversation back to the reason why she called.

"And you stay the hell away from her, or any female for that matter!"

Lucas walked quickly, but calmly away from the back alley of his favorite frozen yogurt shop and wiped the blood from his knuckles using the handkerchief he always carried. He smiled, remembering how Maya would always make fun of him for carrying one, yet it always seemed to come in handy. He walked back into the shop, having a seat at one of the booths in front of the owner, Mr. Perry. The kind old man was sort of a friend to Lucas, as they both hailed from the south. When Lucas came to him about what had happened with one of his employees the other day, the older man was kind enough to say he'd look the other way, should something happen to Charles.

"Aw, gee, I'm sorry Luke. If I had known he had done something like that, I would have never hired him in the first place," said Mr. Perry as Lucas finished his iced tea.

Lucas quickly smothered his anger with a kind smile. There was no use being mad at Mr. Perry, when all he had done was given a young man a job when he came asking for it. "It's okay, Mr. Perry. And thank you, for looking the other way. I really wouldn't be able to sit here so calmly in front of you if I didn't get to lay hands on that son of a…" he trailed off, clenching his fists tightly.

"I understand, Luke. I was just like you when I was your age. Hell, I'm still like that to this day. No one has the right to get away scot-free from something like that. He'll get what he deserves in court, I'm sure of it," Mr. Perry smiled back, a rueful smile full of regret.

Lucas took his time strolling back to his house, fighting the urge to run back to that alley and finish the job with Charles Hollis. It wouldn't do much good, anyways. He could kill Charles, but then Charles would be dead and he'd be rotting away in a prison cell for the rest of his life. Still, the anger was there and he was having a hard time fighting it. He would need to call someone to distract him for a while and take his mind off of things.

Turns out he didn't need to do that though, because on the front steps of his apartment complex, sat Joshua Matthews.

"What are you doing here? How did you even know where I live?" Lucas asked, walking right up to the older boy. He clenched his fists, and then winced. He would need to ice his hands discreetly when he got upstairs.

The action didn't go unnoticed by Josh. "So, you really did take care of him? Riley had a feeling you might do something," he said calmly with a slight scolding tone.

Lucas rolled his eyes, not in the mood to be lectured. "I don't see how it's any of your business what I do." He stepped to the side, intent on going around Josh.

"I didn't come here to berate you, Lucas," Josh said, stepping in his path. "You and I need to talk."

Lucas sighed, immediately knowing what this is about. "I guess. Come upstairs though, we can't talk out here."

Josh followed Lucas up a couple flights of stairs, semi-relieved that the cowboy only lived on the third floor of the building. Fortunately, Lucas's parents were out for the day, so they didn't need to be discrete about what they had to talk about. He waited patiently while the other boy grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, placing it over his right hand. Lucas motioned for Josh to follow, leading him into his bedroom.

"I assume we're here to talk about Maya," he started, taking a seat on his bed.

Josh leaned back against the desk opposite of Lucas. "Yeah. I hear you've been spending a lot of time with her recently, and that you two have gotten rather close since the incident."

Lucas scowled. "I haven't spent any more time with her than Farkle and Riley has. And we're friends, are we not supposed to be close?"

Josh looked at Lucas closely, trying to decipher what exactly the other boy felt for Maya. "All I'm asking is, what are your intentions with Maya? Do you love her?"

Lucas was taken aback by the blatant accusation. Just what was Josh getting at? "Of course, I love her! She's one of my best friends, and I care about her a lot."

Except, before the incident, he and Maya had the kind of relationship where they picked on each other playfully and pushed each other's buttons. All that has changed now, the dynamic of their relationship has changed. Maya was still a strong girl, no doubt about that, but what she needed from him now was more than just jokes and sarcasm. She needed a strong, reliable friend to get her through this hard time, and Lucas was going to be there for her no matter what. Just like he would be for Riley, or any other of his friends. They were important.

"You know what I mean, Lucas," Josh said, exasperated. "Do you like her the way you liked Riley two years ago?"

"Listen Josh, Maya and I are just friends, and that's it. Things have been a little different ever since the incident but that's because Maya needs all of her friends to be kind and supportive," he tried to explain. He was beginning to get a headache from this whole conversation. "And even if I did love her, a boyfriend is the last thing that Maya needs to worry about!"

That last sentence made Josh freeze, if only for a second. "Yeah," he admitted, "You're right about that. Maya needs her friends more than anything else."

All of the energy seemed to drain from the older boy, his eyes downcast and his arms hung limply at his sides. Lucas watched him closely. He knew what his relationship was with Maya, and about the long game. They were close, and Josh was seeing him as some sort of competition.

"Are you jealous?" he asked seriously. Immediately, Josh's head snapped up and he reeled back. Lucas smirked, "Oh, and you said _I_ was the insecure western hero?"

"Shut up," Josh groaned, putting his face in his hands, "I just wanted to know where you stood. You're right though, Maya doesn't need to be worrying about those kinds of things right now."

Lucas nodded, finally feeling like they were getting somewhere in this conversation. At first, Josh seemed antsy and out of place, but now he just looked tired. He understood completely, how being around Maya and helping her was taking a lot out of the other boy. It had taken a toll on him, too. There were nights where he would wake up in cold sweat, angry and upset with himself for not being there to protect her and watch over her. Maya wasn't any one's responsibility, but he still would have looked out for her. He wouldn't have let her walk off with that creep or even talk to him.

"How is she doing? I haven't talked to her since that time at the yogurt shop?" Lucas asked, feeling low for not getting a hold of her.

Josh shrugged. "She's coping, still a few steps back from where she was though. Seeing him must've really shaken her," he said.

It did more than just shake her, Lucas thought. Josh hadn't seen the panicked mess she'd been when he found her or hear how her voice shook when she answered the phone. After he'd given her the panic medication, she basically passed out on him. He'd carried her all the way back to the bakery, where he and Katy then took her home and he told her what had happened. Katy had assured him that none of it was his fault, yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. He'd pressured her to leave the bakery, to go out and try to have some fun with him, yet it backfired completely.

"You didn't see her that day… I've never seen Maya so scared," Lucas admitted sheepishly, too ashamed to meet Josh's eye.

The older boy moved to sit next to him on the bed, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. It was times like these where Lucas wished he had something like an older brother, someone to guide him when he was lost. In spite of everything, he was glad that Josh shared the burden of knowing Maya's whole story. He didn't know if he could handle being the only one who knew, the only one who she could talk to about all of it. It was hard enough seeing her so broken and not Maya-like every day. He hoped that the support system she had built for herself was enough.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it, man. You couldn't have known," Josh said reassuringly. It was almost enough.

Lucas smiled ruefully. "I'm glad I at least got to beat him up a little myself," he smirked, looking down at his heavily bruised hands.

The look of terror on the older guy's face was ever so satisfying to Lucas, as was the crunch of his nose as it broke and caved in. Charles tried to fight back, but try as he might, he was no match for the cowboy. Lucas was a fighter and a protector through and through, and he'll be damned if he let Charles Hollis get away with what he did to Maya. His only regret was that he didn't hurt him more. He couldn't though, because once he reached a certain point he knew there was no turning back. He would have killed him.

He sat and talked with Josh for a couple hours after, surprised at how cool and composed the college-kid could be while talking about such a delicate manner. They mostly talked about Maya, and ways they could help her, and how to get Riley and the others on board. Josh was an expert at getting Maya to open up, and Lucas was able to provide comfort and protection for her (provided she doesn't run off on her own again). All of their friends, plus Maya and Riley's families, made up a terrific support system that was sure to get Maya back on track in the next couple of months.

"You think she might be okay to go back to school for the spring semester?" Lucas asked over a delivery pizza.

Josh pondered for a bit before shrugging. "That's not really up to us now, is it? Like it or not, Maya's the only one who can decide when she's ready. Given what she's been through, I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to take the whole year to be away from school. In the end, we just have to continue to be supportive of whatever she decides."

Later, when Josh had left, Lucas opened his laptop and Skyped the friend he wanted to speak to the most. His hands twitched at his sides, anxious to talk to her after all this time apart. It was taking her longer than usual to pick up, but after about five rings, she did.

"Lucas?"

He smiled, looking at the familiar face on the screen and feeling an old warmth course through him. "Hey, Riley."

The brunette looked confused. "Why are you calling me?"

"Just wanted to check up on you, I know we don't talk all that much these days," he told her, which was halfway true.

In the events following their mutual breakup, he and Riley didn't talk much. It wasn't that it was awkward or anything, but now that they didn't have to plan everything around each other (and boy, Riley was a busy bee), their schedules conflicted so much that they didn't see much of each other. They mostly just saw each other on group outings, in which Riley normally chose to hang out with Maya and Farkle. That was fine with him, but he knew things have been hard on Riley lately too. Everyone was walking on eggshells around Maya, but Riley was just as sensitive to the memories of that night as the blonde was, and he had to make sure she was still doing okay.

"You and Farkle, I swear! I'm doing okay, Lucas. Things are just…" she trailed off, tears already beginning to mist in her eyes, "Things are just a little hard."

"I know, and I want you to know that I'm here for you Riley," he said, eyes soft as he stared at the screen. Riley was an excellent actor when it came to her own behaviors. Usually Maya was the first one to notice when something was wrong with the girl, but given the circumstances…

Riley wiped her eyes with her sleeve and offered him a watery smile. "Thanks, Lucas. But you're already doing so much for Maya… I don't want to take that away from her."

What? Riley too? "Riley… I don't like Maya that way," he tried to explain, "These past couple weeks, they've just terrified me. I want to be able to protect all of you and I can't. And Maya doesn't need a boyfriend right now, she needs her friends. And you do, too."

He wanted to tell her that her uncle was there just a bit earlier, and that he had this conversation with him too, but now wasn't the time. People could think he liked Maya, it was whatever. It didn't matter to him what other people thought as long as she was getting better. Later on, when she was ready to have that kind of conversation with him, they would talk about it and he would tell her that she was like a sister to him. An obnoxious, annoying little sister that he wanted to protect with everything he had. Plus, he was pretty sure Josh had already called dibs a long time ago, and if the bout of jealousy was anything to go by, the older boy had much stronger feelings for her than he led on.


	7. Chapter 7: Back to School

Going to school was going to be a challenge.

It was her choice, her decision. She had talked it over with her mom, Shawn, and Riley. Josh had a bit of input as well, and all of them were being so supportive if she wanted to wait until her junior year to return to school. But that simply was not an option for Maya. When the idea was first brought up that she should take some time away from school, it was intended to be for a couple of months, just until she felt she could handle herself again. It was never supposed to take this long.

It was now well into January, and everyone else had gone back to school a week ago, and while Maya liked having them all around during the winter break, she dearly missed seeing her friends all the time. And with the spring semester coming, everyone was going to be so busy after school. Lucas and Zay had baseball, and no doubt they were going to be at practice all the time. Farkle and Smackle were preparing for the State Academic Decathlon competition, and they spent all their time together studying. She saw Josh scarcely enough as it was, with him being so busy at college. Riley had even talked about joining the debate team, and Maya didn't want to be the reason her friend didn't do something.

"I've decided I'm going to go to school," she told everyone as she sat them down in the living room at the Matthews'. She tried to sound excited, to hide the anxiety and uncertainty in her voice. She'd hoped her friends would be excited too.

However, instead of the excited looks she'd been anticipating, she was met with many concerned faces.

"Is this something you're sure of, Maya?" asked Cory, careful with his words.

Riley looked excited but unsure, knowing what happened the last time Maya ran into someone she was unfamiliar with. There was the comfort of knowing that Maya would be safe at school, that she had all her friends and teachers looking out for her, but would she feel okay with all of that, or would she still feel threatened? Those were all things that made Riley uneasy. With everyone's busy schedules, there was no guarantee that Maya would be accompanied at all times, and the thought of Maya wandering the school halls alone frightened her to some extent.

Maya sighed, reading everyone's expression and immediately knowing their concern. "I wasn't supposed to be out that long anyways, and I've been handling myself a lot better lately. Dr. Kinsely even lowered my dosage on the anxiety medication."

"Still, Maya, this is really sudden," Shawn chimed in, "Are you sure you don't want to go for maybe a half-day? Just until you're completely sure you're okay? I'm sure we could work something out with the school."

Except Maya didn't want to be the girl who went to school for half a day because she was raped, it was bad enough that she was the girl who was raped. She was sure everyone at school knew about it by now. Hell, Missy even texted her and told her how sorry she was that it even happened at her party to begin with. She couldn't go the rest of her life being afraid. Sooner or later, she was going to need to shape up and face her classmates.

"I know this is what I want to do, and I know it's going to be hard," she took a deep breath, "but I want to do this, for me."

Josh took a step towards her, carefully wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "If it's what you want, I'll support you. Just don't feel like this is something you _need_ to do, for anyone."

Maya smiled, then looked towards the rest of all her 'family'. Her friends looked hopeful, yet weary, while the adults just looked weary. Mustering up her strongest Maya face, she stood firm on her decision. "I'm going, and that's final. Dad," she looked to Shawn, "I'll allow you to take whatever protective measures you feel necessary."

Shawn looked to Cory, who gave him a solemn look, and nodded. "I'll be dropping you off and picking you up every day. I want you to be escorted to and from every class, by one of these guys," he gestured to her friends, who all nodded in agreement and understanding, " _and_ I would prefer you eat lunch in Cory's classroom."

Maya made a face at the last one, not wanting to be the weirdo who eats lunch in a teacher's classroom, but nodded anyways.

"I'm so glad I'll have you by my side at school again!" Riley cried, latching onto her best friend's arm.

The next week, Maya took her time getting ready for school. She opted for black jeans, black Converse high-tops and a long-sleeved blue shirt with a black leather jacket over it. She looked a little shorter without her usual heeled shoes, but it was what she was more comfortable in. She wore no makeup, something else she stopped doing after that night. She found that her skin is a lot clearer now and Josh told her he liked the way she looked without it.

"Maya! I made breakfast!" her mom called from the kitchen. Maya looked at her reflection and smiled slightly in contentment before making her way down the hall.

"I'm about to leave for the bakery, but I whipped up some scrambled eggs and bacon for your first day back," Katy said, smiling encouragingly.

"Thanks, Mom. Where's Dad?" Maya noticed Shawn wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"He's in the shower. He didn't sleep well last night, so he woke up a little late. He'll be out in time to take you to school though," her mom replied, but not without letting a complicated look cross her features for a moment.

Maya knew Shawn wasn't taking this all too well. He was worried about her, as always, and now that he finally had the time to be at home, he wanted to be there for her whenever possible. She appreciated that, she really did. But what she really wanted was to get better, and she knew she couldn't do that without challenging herself.

"You call me if you want to be picked up, okay? And if _anyone_ makes you uncomfortable, you go to Cory or call me," Shawn insisted as he dropped Maya off at the front gates. Riley was already there waiting for her, ready to escort her to their first class.

"Of course, Dad. I'll text you during lunch to give you an update, okay?" she told him, flashing him a forced smile as she slid out of the car to meet Riley.

Due to her special circumstances, the school administration engineered her schedule so that she would have every class withat least one of her friends, which she was grateful for. She had first period chemistry with Riley and Zay, second period geometry with Lucas, third period art with Riley and Smackle, fourth period P.E. with Riley, Zay, and Lucas, fifth period history with all of her friends, sixth period study hall with Farkle, and seventh period English with Lucas and Zay. It worked out pretty well actually. They all had lunch together so there wasn't a time of day where she had to be alone.

"Are you ready to go, Maya?" Riley asked as they walked through the school doors. Maya shrugged, not knowing how to respond to the looks she was getting from people in the hallway.

At this time, it was no longer news what happened to Maya at Missy's back to school party. People gossiped for months, and though Riley never spoke a word, Lucas took it upon himself to address the rumors and quiet everyone for good. For a good while after that, people minded their own business, and everyone got used to Maya not being around. School went on as normal, and people stopped talking.

But now Maya was back, and the rumors were sure to make another appearance.

"Did you hear about what happened to her back in August?"

"Duh, everyone knows about it!"

"I don't see how anyone could look so okay after that…"

The whispers came from left and right, and Maya did her best to ignore them, and ignore the fact that they knew about something so traumatic and personal to happen to her. For a while, ignoring them seemed to work. As she walked the halls of the school, she was able to stay in her own little world, making idle conversation with her best friend who was too obviously trying to distract her. It was only when someone approached her that she found herself unable to ignore them.

"Oh my god, Maya! Thank God, you're back. We've all been so worried!" It was Sarah, the nice girl with the big glasses who sometimes let Maya copy off of her math homework. Maya considered her a friend, a title she didn't give a lot of people.

"U-uhm…" she stuttered, struggling to find a reply for her. Sarah looked simultaneously relieved and worried, brows pulled together as she examined her friend.

Riley jumped into action, quick to Maya's defense. "I told you she was fine, Sarah," she began calmly, "Maya just needed some time off from school for a while."

Sarah nodded in understanding, wishing Maya a good luck in her classes before bidding them both a goodbye. Maya sighed in relief, thankful to Riley for stepping in. It was so strange, and a feeling so new crept into her chest. She'd never been so nervous when talking to someone before. Even while working the register at the bakery, she'd never so much as stuttered when talking to customers. And here she was at school, where people who have known her all her life roamed the halls, and she couldn't speak a word.

"Don't worry about them, Maya. We've all done our best here to curb the rumors, but you know how these guys are. They latch onto anything that could be potentially juicy gossip," Riley told her as they walked into their homeroom.

Mr. Matthews smiled at her as she found her seat near the center of the room, mouthing a subtle 'Welcome back' to her. He didn't make a big deal of her return to the class, fortunately, and soon enough Lucas, Zay, Farkle and Smackle were all surrounding her, purposely putting her in the middle of their group. It made her feel better, the fact that she had friends willing to go through such lengths just to make sure she felt comfortable. She felt eyes on her all throughout class, but with her friends around, no one said a word.

The rest of the morning went much of the same way, with her ignoring the whispers around her and walking and talking only to her friends. It was a little awkward in third period art, since she was no longer in advanced art with David. She had opted out of taking that class because she knew that if she saw David again, she would be reminded of that night. Instead she took regular sophomore art with Riley and Smackle, where she had friends and still got to practice what she loved. Mr. Jackson had looked at her strangely when she walked in, surprised to see her after all this time and not in his advanced class.

"So far the only people here who know the whole story are my dad and some of the administrators. My dad didn't want to tell anyone unnecessary unless you approved of it," Riley said when she asked why her teacher looked so strange.

At lunch, they all sat together in Cory's classroom, away from the chatter of the lunchroom. She was happy to see that all of her friends were excited to have her back with them at school, but at the same time she felt like she had missed out on so much. They filled her in on all of the drama she had missed, like how Casey Sanders fell from the cheerleading pyramid and broke her leg, and how seniors Jace and Addy were now expecting a baby. It was all hear-say, but nevertheless entertaining.

"So, Maya, how has everyone been treating you since you got back?" Zay asked harmlessly, taking a giant bite out of his brownie.

Maya's mouth pulled into a slight grimace. "I honestly haven't been able to talk to that many people, no one has really approached me except for Sarah."

It wasn't a secret in the school that Maya had been through something traumatic, and rumors had spread like wildfire even before school started back in September. Even though no one really knew all of the details of the event, they knew to some extent that Maya got hurt and that an older guy was involved. That fact in and of itself was enough to start rumors that spread like a wildfire.

"I'm sure things will return back to normal soon, peaches," Riley offered reassuringly, reaching over to pat the blonde's hand.

Lucas watched the exchange with careful eyes, noticing the strained look on Riley's face as she consoled her friend. As much as they all wanted to believe that there was some truth to Riley's words, things weren't really ever going to be the same at school again. It wasn't so much that people were trying to guess what happened to Maya, but it was Maya herself. She was completely different from the girl everyone knew last spring. Everyone knew Maya as a kickass, intelligent girl who protected her friends no matter the cost and stood up for herself always.

Even though it was only her first day back, Lucas predicted that the way people treated Maya was going to change. Even though she was starting to learn to deal with her anxiety and depression, she wasn't the old Maya and people were already starting to notice that. It made sense in their group, as none of them expected her to bounce back immediately. They all knew it was going to take a long time before they even got a glimpse of who the blonde used to be.

"So Maya, how was P.E.? Coach Larsson is tough I hear," Farkle asked offhandedly, trying to steer the conversation away from an uncomfortable topic.

"Lucas and I got partnered for some stupid basketball game, which is no fair! He's twice my size!" the blonde complained, stabbing a piece of chicken with her fork.

Lucas chuckled to himself, remembering how awful last period was and wondering why the hell Coach Larsson insisted they play HORSE. The pairs were picked rather randomly, and at first he was concerned that Maya might end up with someone she's not comfortable with and freaked out, but thankfully the odds were in their favor and she ended up partnered with him.

"At least you didn't get stuck with Ellie Richards from the cheerleading team," Zay rolled his eyes, diving into a story about how Ellie Richards is quite possibly one of the dumbest girls in their school.

Before anyone knew it, the school day had already ended and they were all making their way to Topanga's where they would meet up with the adults to talk about how Maya's first day back went.

While Maya walked ahead with Lucas, Zay and Smackle at her side, Riley slowed her steps a little to fall into step with someone she'd been a little worried about lately.

"Farkle," she began, pulling lightly on his jacket sleeve to get his attention. The boy seemed completely lost in thought, "Has something been on your mind lately?"

Farkle sighed, running a hand through his brown hair and pulling a frustrated face. "I guess. I just can't stop thinking about how different she is, Riles. I'm worried we won't ever get the old Maya back," he confessed.

Riley frowned, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "She needs a little more time. I know it might be a while, but she's working through this. I'm just glad she seems to be in a slightly better place now."

While Riley didn't want to believe that Maya wouldn't ever go back to the way she was, she always knew it was a possibility. She and her mom had a long talk about what depression does to people, and she understood a little better that Maya was affected in a way that was completely permanent. Her dad mentioned that Shawn had gone through a period where he was depressed and far from his usual self, and that it took all of his family and friends to pull him back together. She was prepared to do whatever it takes to make Maya happy again.

But if the blonde really couldn't revert back to her old self, then Riley would love her best friend all the same.

"I just don't want to lose her, you know?" Farkle's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"What do you mean, lose her?"

Farkle's eyes darkened. "Don't act like you haven't noticed, Riley. She's distant, pretending. She wants so badly to be back to herself that she's barely even speaking now."

As Maya was preparing to start school again, Riley _had_ noticed a drastic change in her personality. She was brighter, in a way, and bubblier. She reminded Riley vaguely of the way she was when she 'lost' herself and became her. It was different, but a good different compared to how depressed she'd been after that night. Riley naively thought it was a change in her medication, or that she was just excited to be starting school with her friends again, but now that Farkle mentioned it, something was definitely off.

Maya didn't talk as much as she used to, replying when spoken too but not saying much otherwise. She seemed to always have a smile too big plastered on her face. Riley tried to come up with an excuse for her best friend, but came up empty handed.

Could they really be losing her?

"Do you think she'll ever be back to how she was, Farkle?" the brunette whispered to her friend. Farkle shot her a complicated look.

"I want to believe that she will, but only time can tell. I'm just worried she pushed herself too hard too fast. Maybe she wasn't ready to go back to school," he told her.

Up ahead of the two, Maya trailed slightly behind Lucas and Zay as they traded conversation over her head. She chose to walk with Smackle, since she hadn't gotten to talk to the girl in quite a while. In a way, Smackle was really refreshing to talk to. She was honest to a fault, and didn't sugarcoat anything, something Maya appreciated in a friend. She didn't have too many classes with the girl, and their personalities clashed to a point where friendship didn't really seem plausible, but then again, she supposed it was like that with all of her friends.

"They're worried about you, you know," Smackle commented, glancing back at Riley and Farkle who were walking behind them.

"Yeah, I know. I've been trying to act normal so they wouldn't, but I think I made it worse," Maya winced, thinking back to all the speculative looks Farkle had shot her throughout the day. The more she tried to smile, the more suspicious he seemed.

She didn't want to admit how hard it was for her, going back to school. It used to be something she did without a second glance, she never thought it would be so difficult to be around other people. The whispers got to her, and the rumors. She had expected them, but she didn't expect the sting of pain that came with it. She thought she would be able to ignore them better, but no matter how much Riley assured her that it would all blow over in a couple of days, Maya couldn't just let a few of them slip by.

" _Do you think she's lying?"_

" _I think she just wants attention."_

" _I heard she did it on purpose, and then lied because she didn't want David to find out."_

Some were bad, some were worse, but she couldn't get over how cruel some of these rumors could be. And just who started all of this crap? The old Maya would get to the bottom of it immediately and make the culprit pay. But now… all she wanted to do was go home and hide and never go back to school again. She couldn't though, she had to prove to herself and her friends that she was strong enough to push through this. So she would go back to school tomorrow, and paste that big smile back on her face, and wear it until it became real.

What did she do to deserve this?


	8. Chapter 8: Shatter

**Hello, readers! So only two more chapters and an epilogue after this one, the story is finally coming to an end. I've been really busy this summer with an internship, and then I completely lost my first draft of this chapter when I got a computer virus :( but it is here. I'm aware this chapter is a lot shorter than the others, but I couldn't really find a good ending place without it being super super long.**

 ****Important Note** This is a JOSHAYA endgame story. Any (Lucaya) you _might_ see is purely platonic and focused on their FRIENDSHIP. Please don't come at me for any Lucaya you might infer from this chapter. That is all.**

"Are you doing okay in school? You haven't asked me for help in geometry in a while," Josh commented one day as they were doing their nightly routine of working on homework together over video chat.

Maya sighed, knowing she wasn't faring much better this semester in math. "No, geometry is still hard. But now I have Farkle in study hall and he helps me with math. I like to get it done early so I don't forget what I learned in class."

It'd been only two months since Maya returned to school, and she was finally beginning to get the hang of things. The whispers around her finally stopped and people were once again beginning to talk to her like she was normal. She didn't mind most of the time, but it was kind of exhausting. She felt most comfortable when she was around her friends, and that was something that wasn't going to change any time soon. Other than that, she would have to say school is going really well.

Since beginning school, Maya has really enjoyed these nights just sitting and talking to Josh, who was always willing to lend an ear to her problems. She really didn't deserve a friend like him.

"And how have you been feeling lately?" He asked, looking closely at her through their video screens. It was a question he'd been asking every night as of recently, and every night she would reply with some generic positive answer.

" _I'm fine, still adjusting"_

" _Things are finally getting back to normal,"_

" _A little better every day,"_

Except she was finally getting tired of the same bullshit answers. If she couldn't be honest with Josh about how she was feeling, who was she supposed to tell? Riley and Farkle were just starting to return to their normal selves who didn't reflect over what happened at least six times a day. Lucas would fret over her and hover like a very large, very protective fly. And then Zay and Smackle just got a bit awkward whenever something from that night was brought up. It was basically taboo to talk about now, as her whole friend group just wanted her to focus on the future, and not the past.

"Honestly," she began, immediately catching Josh's attention, "I don't know anymore. It seems like on the outside I'm getting better but on the inside I don't feel any better."

She blinked the tears out of her eyes, hating it when Josh saw her cry. It wasn't fair to him, to make him deal with all of her problems, but it felt like there was no one else who could understand the way he could. He never judged her, not since that one time he thought she had hickeys on her neck. He only offered unwavering support.

"Do you still feel scared when you go outside?"

Maya nodded, admitting to someone for the first time in a while that she was beginning to hate the city. "I can go to school, and to the bakery, and to Riley's house, but I hate walking alone or going anywhere else really."

The last few months have been dreadful, only seeing those three places plus her own home. That one time Lucas tried to take her to get frozen yogurt turned out terribly, and she wasn't confident she'd be able to handle herself if something like that were to happen again. "I just really miss being the Old Maya, who wasn't afraid of anything and would stand up for herself and her friends," she said.

Josh remained somewhat quiet on the other line, deep in thought. Truthfully, he'd known that Maya was not yet her old self, no matter how hard she tried to convince him. He wasn't sure she'd ever be the same again, but hopefully she would end up somewhere close. He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better.

"Maya, do you want to go on a date with me?"

The words were out of his mouth before he even gave himself time to process them. He was just thinking of ways he could help make her feel better and possibly get her to see the city again. Josh could only imagine how awful the past few months have been for her, only traveling between three or four places. When his mind came up with the idea of asking her on a date, he just blurted it out.

Maya stares wide-eyes at the boy through her computer screen, shocked to silence by his question. "Um, what?"

"W-Well…" Josh started, face starting to bloom with an unfamiliar blush, "I mean, it could be fun, you know? We'd get you out of the house and go somewhere and have a good time together," he tried to explain.

Maya looked at him skeptically. "So you're only asking me out to get me out of the house?"

"No!" The boy said quickly, "That's not what I meant at all, but that would be a bonus. I haven't really seen you in a while and we should hang out. Let me take you out, please?"

Maya had to think long and hard about it. She hadn't been anywhere particularly exciting in the past few weeks, to the point where people were starting to wonder if she'd become agoraphobic. She missed doing things with her friends like going to the mall, or the movies, or just hanging out around New York. The only things she really saw these days were the bakery and school. She hadn't even ridden the subway in months.

"I don't know, Josh. Last time someone tried to get me out of the house, things ended pretty badly," she cringed, remembering the panic she felt and what Lucas must've felt like when she just ran off.

She missed the way Josh's eyes darken at the mention of that particular memory. He wasn't the one who was with her when it happened, but if he had been, he wouldn't have hesitated to act just as Lucas did. Every mention of her abuser got his blood boiling, and an innate rage that he'd never felt before fell like a dark curtain over him. Sometimes he got a little jealous of Lucas, and the fact that he had the opportunity to smash the guys face in.

"It's been months since then, Maya. And no matter what, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. You'll stay by my side the entire time," he swore to her, eyes ablaze with reverence.

Maya wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that she could feel safe under his arm. Things were so different now, and as much as she's grown to trust the current men in her life, a part of her wanted to say no. She could stay safe in her house forever, and never have to go through that experience again.

But that was no way to live.

It was crazy, for years she'd been wanting Josh to ask her out, and now he's done it and she could be chickening out? Who was she?

"Yes, I'll go," she said, not giving herself any time to talk herself out of it.

Josh was grateful, he was really worried for a second that she would pass on the date. He had to admit, he might've been using the date to get her out of the house, but he had some slightly selfish intentions behind it too. He wanted to be close to her, to be able to save her from going down this path of depression and misery. The Maya he knew was so full of life and promise, and he wanted to bring that back out of her.

He wanted the Maya that he liked back.

"So I know you had plans to bake cookies this Saturday with Riley, so how about Sunday? I'll pick you up mid-morning," he said, smiling as Maya nodded in confirmation. She'd have to ask her parents, but they thought every time she left the house was a small victory, so she didn't think it'd be any trouble.

She went to bed with a slight smile on her face, and expression she hadn't found herself wearing unconsciously in a long while.

Unfortunately, the next day at school was a hard one to get through.

"Has anyone seen Riley or Maya?" Farkle asked the remaining people of the group, being Lucas and Smackle. Zay had to go to English early for tutoring.

Lucas checked his phone for any recent texts from the girls, but came up empty handed. They were never late, especially since Riley's dad has been the one driving them to school. Mr. Matthews was already in his classroom which they passed by earlier, and it was far more unusual for the girls to disappear without letting one of them know what was going on.

Just before he was about to put his phone back in his pocket, it began to ring. "Riley?" he answered immediately. He was met with Riley's hushed tone, not speaking into the mic.

" _Just hold on Maya, I'm calling them. They'll be here soon, okay?"_

"Riley, what's going on? Is Maya okay?" he said urgently into the phone, catching Farkle and Smackle's attention.

"Lucas! It's Maya, she's having a panic attack and I can't stop it and I don't know what to do! My dad isn't answering his phone, please help!" the girl rushed out into the phone.

Riley was panicking, not helping Maya's situation at all. Things had been going pretty normally for them, they got to school fine, only to discover that Riley dropped her phone at the entrance gate of the school. They had quickly gone back to retrieve it, only for a swarm of football players to run by and separate the two girls momentarily. The whole thing had been a dizzying experience for Riley, but it didn't take long for her to find Maya, who was on the verge of tears. Reality came crashing down, realizing the close contact with so many big guys triggered Maya's anxiety, which led to the current situation in the downstairs girls' bathroom.

Maya was curled up halfway underneath the sink, trying to control her hyperventilation, but failing miserably. Tears still streaked down her face as she struggled to tone down her panic. It didn't help that Riley was now stressed out too, trying to help her best friend. Her Xanax was being held onto by Cory, who wasn't picking up his phone.

"I'm on my way," Lucas replied immediately, tone stressed but not panicked. He needed to stay calm if he was going to help Maya. "Farkle and Smackle are going to get Mr. Matthews so he can give her the medicine. Where are you?"

"Downstairs girls' bathroom!"

Lucas cursed, already beginning to practically fly down the stairs. Farkle and Smackle took off immediately to find Cory, but he knew they would be another fifteen minutes since his classroom was all the way across campus from where they were. He hastened, not wanting Maya to be suffering much longer.

When he got there, the scene was worse that what he expected. Not only was Maya crying and hyperventilating, but now Riley was crying too, not knowing what to do. Thankfully, there was no one else in the bathroom so there wasn't anyone to make even more of a scene.

"Riley, why don't you go wait outside and try to calm down? Farkle and Smackle will be down any minute now. No offense, I just think you're only adding to her panic right now, okay?" he whispered gently, putting a hand to her shoulder and escorting her out of the bathroom. He felt bad, but right now, Maya was the priority.

He sat very gingerly next to her, pulling her clammy hands into his grasp as he whispered calming words to her. "Hey, you don't look so good. Can you take a deep breath for me, just try?"

Ever since that one time Maya ran out of the frozen yogurt shop, he'd been researching ways to help someone through a panic attack. One of the more common ways was to encourage deep breathing and give lots of praise. He'd also read somewhere that close contact could help, depending on the person.

Maya struggled the first couple of times to breathe deeply without gasping for air, but she tried her best. She tried hard to ignore the pounding in her ears and only focus on Lucas's encouraging words, but nothing she tried helped. She held one of his hands tightly in both of hers while his other hand rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"I-I c-can't…" she stuttered, curling into herself further. No matter what she tried, she couldn't shake the fear.

Lucas let out a deep breath. "Will you be okay if I hold you? Do you think it would help?"

Maya's face flushed, but she was in no place to refuse any kind of comfort he had to offer, so she shakily nodded her head. Her body shook violently as he worked to uncurl her so he could place her between his open legs on the floor. Her muscles tensed and she let out a couple of choked sobs. The blonde had to keep reminding herself that this was Lucas, the protector, but every fiber of her being wanted to jerk out of his grasp just because he was male.

"Shhh, it's okay Maya," Lucas soothed, holding her tight against his chest. He gently pressed her face to the side of his neck, knowing that was something Riley liked when she was upset. He didn't know why it helped her, but he was always able to calm her down whenever she was pressed so tightly against him. He figured it was worth a shot with Maya, too.

Miraculously, her shakes lessened just a fraction at the movement, and she seemed to make more of an effort to breathe deeply and calm her hyperventilation.

"Lucas," he looked up to see Mr. Matthews standing before him, pill bottle in hand. "I think I've got her from here,"

Gratefully, Lucas allowed Maya to be pulled into their teacher's grasp. He wasn't sure how much more he could help, but he knew her medication would help to reduce her panic. He stood up when Maya was completely released from him, noticing how Mr. Matthews was also encouraging her to calm down. She still struggled, taking large, heaving breaths, but she looked ten times better than when he first found her.

Mr. Matthews' eyes found his, "Thank you, Lucas. You did good here. I already called Shawn, and he and Katy are on their way to pick Maya up and take her home."

Lucas nodded, letting his own stress melt away. "Is Riley okay?" he asked, looking back towards the door. The older man nodded, "She's with Farkle and Smackle, but I'm sure she'd like to see you too," he said.

Riley ran straight into his arms the moment he stepped out of the bathroom. A small crowd had gathered around them that Farkle was trying to control, and Smackle looked the most upset he'd ever seen her. "Lucas," Riley whimpered from his chest, "please tell me she's okay. I-I just… I didn't know what to do."

"She's fine, she'll be okay," he told her, trying to calm her shakes. He rubbed her arms soothingly, trying to convince himself just as much as her that Maya was really okay.

Riley was exhausted, the past few months eating away at her slowly. She didn't know how to help her best friend, and that just about killed her. Every time Maya had a breakdown so far, she was fortunate enough to not be able to see it. Before today, she never knew just how deep her best friend's anxieties ran. Out of the two of them, Riley was never the strong one. She grew up wanting to be like Maya _because_ she was strong, and seeing the blonde crumple so easily was terrifying to her.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Lucas…" she whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes again.

Lucas's eyes widened. She couldn't possibly mean what he thought she meant. Riley would never abandon her best friend, no matter what. "Riley, what are you saying?"

Farkle looked on to the pair, chest tight at the words he'd overheard. Just like Lucas, he couldn't believe Riley could ever say something like that. She loved Maya too much to ever leave her, especially at a time like this. It had been months since that night, but Maya's road to a full mental recovery had been a slow and rocky one. Even he spent too many nights awake, wondering if she'd ever be the same again. It was nothing like the time she became like Riley, it was so much worse. She was only a shell of who she used to be.

"I-I just _can't_ see Maya so miserable anymore! I want her back! I want the strong, badass Maya I know back!" she wailed loudly. Lucas quickly pulled her into his chest again, muffling her sobs.

"I know… I want her back too."

 **Author's Note:**

 **For those of you who might ask, yes I do suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. This story is loosely based on some of my own personal experiences. I do know what it's like to be having a panic attack for seemingly no apparent reason, and I know what it feels like to really need someone to be there, to coach me through it. I am fortunate enough to have a very strong and stable support system, and I hope that anyone suffering from a mental illness can find someone to help them. If you are suffering from anxieties, depression, or any other mental illness, I encourage you to talk to someone about it.**

 **Suicide Hotline: 1(800) 273-8255**


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